InInshirahislamically integrated self-help
ThemeAffection and touch
ApproachCore
MomentUnder stress
1When they are upset, move physically closer before you say anything.
CoreAffection and touch60 secondsQur'an 30:21

Nearness often comforts before any words can, and asks nothing in return.

Where it sits. Gottman method, Turn Toward; affection and touch

Islamic evidence

Allah is gentle and loves gentleness in all things, the Prophet ﷺ said, and nearness offered without words is one of gentleness's plainest forms.

Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquillity: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who reflect

Qur'an 30:21

It was narrated from Aishah that the Prophet(ﷺ) said:"Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness in all things

Sunan Ibn Majah 3689

Psychological evidence

When someone is distressed, closeness often reaches them before any sentence can. Moving toward them first says I am here more convincingly than advice.

Jolink, T.; Chang, Y.; Algoe, S. (2021). Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin · doi

Reciprocal daily spiral between responsiveness and affectionate touch.

Coan, J.; Schaefer, H.; Davidson, R. (2006). Psychological Science · doi

Spousal handholding attenuated neural threat response; effect tracked marital quality.

Review detail

Why it works. Proximity and touch help regulate distress between partners.

Your relationshipUnder stressscholar review pendingP7-x2

Feedback

none yet
On: