InInshirahislamically integrated self-help
ThemeAffection and touch
ApproachCore
Time5 minutes
1Do one small, slightly ridiculous thing together.
CoreAffection and touch5 minutesQur'an 2:187

A shared bit of play refreshes a couple more than another serious conversation can.

Where it sits. Gottman method, Turn Toward; affection and touch

Islamic evidence

There was ease and play in the Prophet ﷺ's home. He once raced ʿĀ'ishah on a journey. A little shared silliness keeps a marriage young.

You [believers] are permitted to lie with your wives during the night of the fast: they are [close] as garments to you, as you are to them. God was aware that you were betraying yourselves, so He turned to you in mercy and pardoned you: now you can lie with…

Qur'an 2:187

Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: while she was on a journey along with the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ): I had a race with him (the Prophet) and I outstripped him on my feet. When I became fleshy, (again) I had a race with him (the Prophet) and he outstripped me. He…

Sunan Abi Dawud 2578

Psychological evidence

Doing something new and slightly ridiculous together refreshes attraction and closeness more than another earnest conversation. Play is maintenance, not waste.

Jakubiak, B.; Feeney, B. (2016). Personality and Social Psychology Review · doi

Review of affectionate touch effects.

Review detail

Why it works. Novel, joyful shared activity renews closeness.

Your relationshipEverydayscholar review pendingP7-x4

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