InInshirahislamically integrated self-help
ThemeAffection and touch
ApproachGottman
MomentAny
1Make one greeting or parting linger a few seconds longer than usual today.
GottmanAffection and touch60 secondsQur'an 30:21

A held hug at the door, a real kiss, not the quick automatic one. Let it last.

Where it sits. Gottman method, Turn Toward; affection and touch

Islamic evidence

God placed affection and mercy between spouses (Qur'an 30:21). A greeting that lingers is that affection made physical for a moment.

Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquillity: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who reflect

Qur'an 30:21

Psychological evidence

The quick automatic goodbye asks nothing and gives little. A greeting that lingers a few seconds says, before anything else, you matter to me.

John Mordechai Gottman; Nan Silver (1999)

Lay presentation of the Gottman Method: Love Maps, fondness and admiration, turning toward, accepting influence, solvable vs perpetual problems, shared meaning.

Review detail

Why it works. Small moments of affection at thresholds anchor a couple's daily connection.

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2Kiss, hold, and touch each other daily, at partings, reunions, and before bed. Learn the touch your partner likes.
GottmanAffection and touch60 secondsQur'an 30:21

Affection is not only for special moments. Small, regular touch keeps warmth and closeness alive.

Where it sits. Gottman method, Turn Toward; Small Things Often (affection)

Islamic evidence

He created spouses for you to live with in tranquillity, and ordained love and kindness between you (Quran 30:21). Affection is a sign of the love He placed between you.

Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquillity: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who reflect

Qur'an 30:21

Psychological evidence

Regular, welcomed affection, a lingering kiss, a held hand, keeps the physical bond warm; couples who keep touching stay closer through the ordinary days.

Gottman, J.; Coan, J.; Carrere, S.; Swanson, C. (1998). Journal of Marriage and the Family · doi

Newlywed interaction patterns; accepting influence; soft start-up.

Review detail

Why it works. Frequent, wanted physical affection sustains the bond of closeness between partners.

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