1Raise the complaint without the words always or never.
One specific moment can be repaired; a sweeping verdict on their character cannot.
Where it sits. Gottman method, Share Fondness and Admiration
Islamic evidence
Avoid assumptions, the Qur'an cautions, for some are sinful. You always and you never are assumptions dressed up as facts.
“Believers, avoid making too many assumptions- some assumptions are sinful- and do not spy on one another or speak ill of people behind their backs: would any of you like to eat the flesh of your dead brother? No, you would hate it. So be mindful of God: God…”
Qur'an 49:12
“Narrated Abu Huraira:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Beware of suspicion (about others), as suspicion is the falsest talk, and do not spy upon each other, and do not listen to the evil talk of the people about others' affairs, and do not have enmity with one another,…”
Psychological evidence
A complaint about one moment can be repaired; a verdict on their whole character cannot. Drop always and never and the same grievance becomes something you can actually solve together.
Gottman, J.; Coan, J.; Carrere, S.; Swanson, C. (1998). Journal of Marriage and the Family · doi
Newlywed interaction patterns; accepting influence; soft start-up.
Review detail
Why it works. Describing a behaviour, not a character, keeps a grievance solvable.