InInshirahislamically integrated self-help
ThemeRebuild trust
Time5 minutes
MomentEveryday
1Do not try to restore the old marriage. Build a new one, on honesty, transparency, and witnessing each other's truths.
GottmanRebuilding trust5 minutesQur'an 30:21

The relationship before cannot be recovered as it was. Aim instead for a second marriage, to the same person, on firmer ground.

Where it sits. Gottman method, Trust and Commitment; Affairs (building Marriage number 2 on honesty)

Islamic evidence

He created spouses for you to live with in tranquillity, and ordained love and kindness between you (Quran 30:21). That love can be rebuilt anew, on truer foundations.

Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquillity: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who reflect

Qur'an 30:21

Psychological evidence

Couples who recover do not go back to the marriage that was; they build a second one on honesty and transparency. Naming it as a fresh start, not a repair of the old, is what makes it viable.

Gottman, J.; Coan, J.; Carrere, S.; Swanson, C. (1998). Journal of Marriage and the Family · doi

Newlywed interaction patterns; accepting influence; soft start-up.

Review detail

Why it works. Framing recovery as building a new, more honest relationship, rather than restoring the old one, gives couples a realistic path forward.

Your relationshipEverydayscholar review pendingrebuild-09-marriage-two

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