InInshirahislamically integrated self-help
ThemeYour worth is not conditional
TimeAny
MomentEveryday
1Your worth is not your output. A bad day at work does not lower your value as a person.
DBTYour worth is not conditional5 minutesQur'an 17:70

You are not a scoreboard. Performance rises and falls; your worth is not pinned to it.

Where it sits. Self-worth; contingencies of self-worth

Islamic evidence

We have honoured the children of Adam (Quran 17:70). Your honour is granted, not earned by output; it does not rise and fall with a day.

We have honoured the children of Adam and carried them by land and sea; We have provided good sustenance for them and favoured them specially above many of those We have created

Qur'an 17:70

Psychological evidence

Staking your self-worth on external results, work, looks, approval, leaves it fragile and prone to collapse; a steadier self-worth is less contingent on any single outcome.

Crocker, J. and Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Psychological Review · doi

Basing self-worth on external contingencies makes it fragile; less contingent self-worth is more stable and healthy.

Review detail

Why it works. Detaching self-worth from performance protects you from the crashes that come when performance dips.

Self and boundariesEverydayscholar review pendingself-07-worth-not-earned

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2You were shaped with care. On a day you feel worthless, that is a feeling, not a fact.
DBTYour worth is not conditional60 secondsQur'an 95:4

Feeling worthless is weather, not the ground. The ground is that you were made well.

Where it sits. Self-worth; contingencies of self-worth

Islamic evidence

We create man in the finest state (Quran 95:4). You were made in the finest form; a low feeling does not rewrite that.

We create man in the finest state

Qur'an 95:4

Psychological evidence

Feelings of worthlessness are states that pass, not measurements of your value; treating them as verdicts is what lets a low mood harden into a self-belief.

Crocker, J. and Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Psychological Review · doi

Basing self-worth on external contingencies makes it fragile; less contingent self-worth is more stable and healthy.

Review detail

Why it works. Separating a passing feeling of worthlessness from your actual value keeps a low mood from defining you.

Self and boundariesEverydayscholar review pendingself-08-made-well

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3Stop measuring your inside against other people's outside. Run your own race.
DBTYour worth is not conditional60 secondsQur'an 4:32

Comparison is a game rigged to make you lose. Turn your eyes back to your own path.

Where it sits. Self-worth; contingencies of self-worth

Islamic evidence

Do not covet what God has given to some of you more than others (Quran 4:32). Your portion is yours; measuring it against another's only unsettles the heart.

Do not covet what God has given to some of you more than others- men have the portion they have earned; and women the portion they have earned- you should rather ask God for some of His bounty: He has full knowledge of everything

Qur'an 4:32

Psychological evidence

Habitually comparing yourself with others ties your worth to a moving target you cannot win; it reliably lowers contentment, whatever the outcome of the comparison.

Crocker, J. and Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Psychological Review · doi

Basing self-worth on external contingencies makes it fragile; less contingent self-worth is more stable and healthy.

Review detail

Why it works. Constant comparison feeds contingent, unstable self-worth and steals contentment.

Self and boundariesEverydayscholar review pendingself-09-compare-less

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