1Take the thought that is upsetting you and ask: what is another way to read this?
The event is fixed; the meaning is not. A second reading often fits the facts and hurts less.
Where it sits. Emotion regulation, cognitive reappraisal (CBT)
Islamic evidence
Perhaps you dislike a thing and it is good for you (Qur'an 2:216). What feels only bad may hold a good you cannot yet see.
“Fighting is ordained for you, though you dislike it. You may dislike something although it is good for you, or like something although it is bad for you: God knows and you do not.’”
Qur'an 2:216
Psychological evidence
Reframing a situation, rather than suppressing the feeling, is linked to better mood and steadier relationships. The story you tell about an event shapes what it does to you.
Gross, J. J.; John, O. P. (2003). Journal of Personality and Social Psychology · doi
Cognitive reappraisal, reframing a situation, is linked to better mood, relationships and wellbeing than bottling feelings up.
Review detail
Why it works. Reappraising a situation changes the emotion it produces, more lastingly than bottling it up.
Feedback
none yet2Notice when you have jumped to the worst story, and hold it as a guess, not a fact.
They meant to hurt me, this always happens. Label these as theories, then look for evidence.
Where it sits. Emotion regulation, cognitive reappraisal (CBT)
Islamic evidence
Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicion is sin (Qur'an 49:12). The worst assumption is often the most painful and the least true.
“Believers, avoid making too many assumptions- some assumptions are sinful- and do not spy on one another or speak ill of people behind their backs: would any of you like to eat the flesh of your dead brother? No, you would hate it. So be mindful of God: God…”
Qur'an 49:12
Psychological evidence
Much suffering comes from the harshest interpretation, not the event itself. Holding the dark story as one theory among others loosens its grip.
Gross, J. J.; John, O. P. (2003). Journal of Personality and Social Psychology · doi
Cognitive reappraisal, reframing a situation, is linked to better mood, relationships and wellbeing than bottling feelings up.
Review detail
Why it works. Catching a catastrophic reading and testing it against the facts lowers distress.