Areas › Anger
Anger
Almost nobody wants to be the person who says the thing they cannot take back. The window between the surge and the words is short and it can be widened. That is most of what this area is about, along with the fear or hurt that anger is usually protecting.
Narrowed down
2 practicesTheme · Choosing your response
How long you have · Longer
Approach · Core
Running on autopilot is not the problem in itself. Patience, letting things go and wishing people well can all become automatic, and then they are there without you having to summon them.
Nobody deliberates under real pressure, so the aim is not to think harder at the time, it is to have a better default waiting. Defaults get installed…
Changing how you react is two jobs, not one: loosening the old response and building the new one. Most people only do the second and then wonder why the old one keeps winning.
The new response is usually fine in calm conditions and then vanishes the moment your pulse is up, because the old one is still there, faster and far…