Areas › Anger

Anger

Almost nobody wants to be the person who says the thing they cannot take back. The window between the surge and the words is short and it can be widened. That is most of what this area is about, along with the fear or hurt that anger is usually protecting.

Narrowed down

2 practices

Making it stick Mindfulness Under stress Clear all

Theme · Making it stick

The moment before you snap 13 Choosing your response 9 Equanimity and perspective 8 What you are actually defending 3 Cool the body first 3 Making it stick 2

How long you have

A minute 1 Five minutes 1

Approach · Mindfulness

Core 4 Mindfulness 2

When · Under stress

Any ordinary day 12 Under stress 2 In a change 1 After a row 1

The aim is not to stop feeling angry. It is to stretch the time between the feeling arriving and you doing anything about it, from no seconds to a few.

That target has the advantage of being honest and checkable. You can ask whether you got a moment this time that you did not get last time. The anger…

A minuteMaking it stickMindfulnessQur’an 3:186

Notice how much of the tightness in you is the verdict you are passing. As the judging comes down, the body tends to come down with it.

This is something you can test rather than something to believe. Catch yourself narrating: he always does this, she has no respect, typical. Then…

Five minutesMaking it stickMindfulnessQur’an 16:127