Inshirahone small thing, well groundedRight now

Areas › Anger

Anger

Almost nobody wants to be the person who says the thing they cannot take back. The window between the surge and the words is short and it can be widened. That is most of what this area is about, along with the fear or hurt that anger is usually protecting.

Narrowed down

3 practices
When anger turns to harm remove filterAfter a row remove filterClear all
Theme · When anger turns to harm
What anger actually is 22Equanimity and perspective 14The fear underneath anger 12Cool the body first 9The moment before you snap 7Choosing your response 7Practising under provocation 6When anger turns to harm 3Growing empathy 2What you are actually defending 2Making it stick 2Anger, alcohol and the body 1Righteous anger and perfectionism 1
How long you have
A minute 2Five minutes 1
When · After a row
Under stress 6Any ordinary day 6After a row 3
About this theme

If anger in your home has become frightening for anyone, self help is not the right tool. Please reach for real help.

Whatever is driving it, behaviour that frightens someone is frightening. The reason behind it does not soften what it was like to stand on the other side of it.

Two people can do something that looks identical from outside and mean quite different things by it. That difference matters for what will help the…

A minuteWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 24:15

Working out what someone meant by hurting another person is a conversation for the person who did it. Said to the one who was harmed, they were not really trying to hurt you lands as being talked out of your own experience.

Anyone who has been on the receiving end of violence has usually spent a long time being told it was not what it was. Even a kindly meant explanation…

A minuteWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 4:148

The person you love and the person who frightened you are one person, and you are not obliged to decide which of them is the real one. Both were in the room.

People tend to collapse this in one direction or the other. Either the frightening one is the truth and every kind thing was an act, or the kind one…

Five minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 4:110