Inshirahone small thing, well groundedRight now

Areas › Anger

Anger

Almost nobody wants to be the person who says the thing they cannot take back. The window between the surge and the words is short and it can be widened. That is most of what this area is about, along with the fear or hurt that anger is usually protecting.

Narrowed down

6 practices
Cool the body first remove filterTwenty minutes remove filterClear all
Theme · Cool the body first
What anger actually is 10The moment before you snap 8Cool the body first 6The fear underneath anger 6Growing empathy 4When anger turns to harm 4Choosing your response 4Righteous anger and perfectionism 4Practising under provocation 3Anger, alcohol and the body 3Equanimity and perspective 3Making it stick 3What you are actually defending 1
How long you have · Twenty minutes
A minute 34Five minutes 23Twenty minutes 6Longer 2
Approach
Body based 5Core 1
When
After a row 2Under stress 2Any ordinary day 2

Anger numbs. If it is doing the work of a painkiller for you, it will be hard to put down while the pain underneath is still untreated.

Ask what tends to be there in the half hour before you flare: a bit of shame, feeling small, an old fear about being left. The anger often arrives to…

Twenty minutesCool the body firstCoreQur’an 94:1

If the irritability came in alongside a low patch, or a spell of racing thoughts and hardly any sleep, have the mood looked at rather than treating the temper on its own.

Irritability is part of depression, and it belongs to the mixed and elevated states of bipolar disorder too. Anger skills are still worth having, and…

Twenty minutesCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 78:9

Squeeze the hand, hold it for a few seconds, then let it go slowly. The letting go is where the calm is, and it works better once you have practised the long version.

Full muscle relaxation, working through the body group by group, takes about twenty minutes and is worth doing a handful of times. Once your body…

Twenty minutesCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 20:14

Shouting it out does not empty the tank. Going over it loudly, in your head or at somebody, tends to keep the anger topped up rather than draining it.

There is a difference between letting pressure out of the body and rehearsing the grievance. A walk, a swim, hard cleaning, prayer: all of that…

Twenty minutesCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 89:27

Anger leaves fuel in the body with nowhere to go. Spend it on something physical, without replaying the argument while you do.

This is not getting it off your chest. The target is the surplus energy, so stairs, a brisk walk, or a hard ten minutes of almost anything will do…

Twenty minutesCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 28:73

Movement can settle you or wind you further up, and the difference is mostly what your mind is doing while you move.

Pacing the kitchen while you build the case against someone keeps the whole system revved. The same twenty minutes spent counting breaths or noticing…

Twenty minutesCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 13:28