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Your marriage
What keeps a marriage well is not the big gestures. It is knowing each other, turning towards each other in ordinary moments, staying regulated when it gets hot, and repairing quickly when it goes wrong. Most of the practices here take under five minutes.
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2 practicesStaying regulated in conflict remove filterEmotionally focused remove filterFive minutes remove filterClear all
Theme · Staying regulated in conflict
How long you have · Five minutes
Approach · Emotionally focused
When it heats up today, slow everything down: your voice, your breath, your pace.
Speed is the fuel of a fight. Halve your tempo and the heat drops with it.
If you are the critical one, risk the soft feeling under the anger and ask, gently, for what you need instead of attacking.
Criticism is often a protest from someone who feels alone and unmet. Softening, letting your partner see the hurt beneath the sharpness and asking…