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Your marriage
What keeps a marriage well is not the big gestures. It is knowing each other, turning towards each other in ordinary moments, staying regulated when it gets hot, and repairing quickly when it goes wrong. Most of the practices here take under five minutes.
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22 practicesHow long you have
Approach · Gottman
Name what set you off, then tell the older story behind why it is a trigger for you.
Rewind to an earlier time you felt the same. Sharing that story helps your partner know you.
Revisit a past fight only once you are both calm, from the balcony, without climbing back into it.
Processing means talking about the incident, not re-fighting it. Wait until the heat is gone.