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Your marriage

What keeps a marriage well is not the big gestures. It is knowing each other, turning towards each other in ordinary moments, staying regulated when it gets hot, and repairing quickly when it goes wrong. Most of the practices here take under five minutes.

Narrowed down

2 practices

Answering bids Gottman Under stress Clear all

Theme · Answering bids

Staying regulated in conflict 12 Listening and understanding 3 Answering bids 2

How long you have

A minute 1 Twenty minutes 1

Approach · Gottman

Emotionally focused 5 Core 2 Gottman 2

When · Under stress

Any ordinary day 5 Under stress 2

When your partner is up against something, take their side: this is our problem, we will face it together.

Even if you see the other side, do not side with the enemy against your partner. Stand with them first.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 9:71

Once today, ask about a stress from outside the two of you, then just listen. No fixing.

Twenty minutes on their side. Your only job is to understand and be on their team.

Twenty minutesAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 30:21