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Your marriage

What keeps a marriage well is not the big gestures. It is knowing each other, turning towards each other in ordinary moments, staying regulated when it gets hot, and repairing quickly when it goes wrong. Most of the practices here take under five minutes.

Narrowed down

2 practices

Repair after rupture Twenty minutes After a row Clear all

Theme · Repair after rupture

Staying regulated in conflict 5 Repair after rupture 2 Rebuilding trust 1

How long you have · Twenty minutes

A minute 11 Five minutes 2 Twenty minutes 2

Approach

Gottman 1 Emotionally focused 1

When · After a row

Any ordinary day 2 After a row 2

When your spouse names a wound you caused, listen without defending, even once.

Not I didn't mean to. First: I hear that I hurt you, and I am sorry. Defence can wait.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 4:135

Revisit a past fight only once you are both calm, from the balcony, without climbing back into it.

Processing means talking about the incident, not re-fighting it. Wait until the heat is gone.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureGottmanQur’an 4:128