Areas › Your marriage
Your marriage
What keeps a marriage well is not the big gestures. It is knowing each other, turning towards each other in ordinary moments, staying regulated when it gets hot, and repairing quickly when it goes wrong. Most of the practices here take under five minutes.
Narrowed down
3 practicesTheme · Knowing your partner
How long you have · Twenty minutes
Approach
Tell your spouse about a raw spot, an old tender place that still gets touched.
When you go quiet I feel abandoned, like I did as a child. Name the ache, not the blame.
Ask one open question about their inner world tonight, and just listen to the whole answer.
What are you hoping for lately, what are you dreading. Questions with no single answer.
Ask your spouse about a moment from their childhood that shaped them, and listen closely.
What comfort felt like then, what they longed for. It still lives in how they love now.