Areas › Yourself and your limits
Yourself and your limits
Saying no, asking for something, and holding a line are skills, not personality. So is speaking to yourself the way you would speak to someone you love.
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4 practicesHow long you have
When · Coming and going
Be firm and warm at once: gentle tone, steady eyes, clear ask. Neither doormat nor bulldozer.
Softness of manner and firmness of content are not opposites. Hold the point kindly.
Ask plainly: name the facts, say how you feel, say what you want, in a few clear sentences.
Drop the hinting. State the situation, your feeling, and the request. Clear is kind.
A kind, clear no is a full answer. You can decline without a long defence.
You do not owe a case file for every no. Warm, brief, and firm is enough.
Every yes you do not mean spends a yes you do. Guard what you commit to.
Saying yes to everything is a slow way of letting yourself down. Protect your real priorities.