The moment before you snapStep 1 of 10

Before you read on

Read this before you start. If someone in your home is frightened of you, or has changed how they behave to keep you calm, or if you have hurt a person or broken something in anger, then this is a safety matter and not a self help matter. Carrying on with an anger course is itself a risk in that situation. Get specialist help, and go to the course Recognising harm at home instead of this one. Nothing here may be used to justify frightening, threatening or striking anyone, in any relationship, and no ruling permitting any of that is given or implied on this platform. Where a fiqh question comes up in the lessons you will be sent to a qualified mufti rather than to a search engine.

Lesson 4 of 6

One technique, and where it goes

There is one technique in this course and it is unglamorous. You step out, with a time attached, and you come back.

It works for a physical reason. Once the surge is up, it comes down on its own schedule, and that schedule is roughly twenty minutes. It cannot be argued down and it cannot be hurried. What you can do is not be in the conversation while it happens.

Everything else in the course exists to get you to the point where you notice early enough to use this. The technique is the small part. The noticing is the work.