If one thing stays with you

Let it be this.

The slackening is inside the pattern the reports describe, not outside it. A Companion made exactly the diagnosis you are making of yourself, about himself, and was told he was wrong.

The feeling drained. That is what feelings do to repeated acts, and it says nothing about the worth of the act. What matters is whether there is still a floor under you.

Set it low. Keep it. And if the flatness is in everything and not only in the prayer, put this course down and go and see a doctor.