Loss is named as loss, and sorrow is not a failure

Two things at the start, and they are quieter than the usual quotations.

The Qur'an names the tests as what they are, loss of life and of wealth and of fruits, and gives good tidings to the patient, the ones who say we belong to Allah and to Him we return. It does not ask the bereaved to call the loss something other than a loss. And every soul tasting death is a baseline, though it is worth saying that of all the verses, that one is the one most often used to shut a grieving person up, and it is not being used that way here.

Then the report below, on what befalls a believer. Look at the list in it. Fatigue, disease, sorrow, sadness, hurt, distress, down to the prick of a thorn. Sorrow and sadness are in the list. The tradition already treats grief as something that happens to a believer, not as something a believer has failed at.

Qur’an and Sunnah

وَلَنَبۡلُوَنَّكُم بِشَيۡءࣲ مِّنَ ٱلۡخَوۡفِ وَٱلۡجُوعِ وَنَقۡصࣲ مِّنَ ٱلۡأَمۡوَٰلِ وَٱلۡأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٰتِۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّٰبِرِينَ

We shall certainly test you with fear and hunger, and loss of property, lives, and crops. But [Prophet], give good news to those who are steadfast

Qur’an 2:155

ٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصَٰبَتۡهُم مُّصِيبَةࣱ قَالُوٓاْ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيۡهِ رَٰجِعُونَ

those who say, when afflicted with a calamity, ‘We belong to God and to Him we shall return.’

Qur’an 2:156

أُوْلَٰٓئِكَ عَلَيۡهِمۡ صَلَوَٰتࣱ مِّن رَّبِّهِمۡ وَرَحۡمَةࣱۖ وَأُوْلَٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلۡمُهۡتَدُونَ

These will be given blessings and mercy from their Lord, and it is they who are rightly guided

Qur’an 2:157

كُلُّ نَفۡسࣲ ذَآئِقَةُ ٱلۡمَوۡتِۗ وَنَبۡلُوكُم بِٱلشَّرِّ وَٱلۡخَيۡرِ فِتۡنَةࣰۖ وَإِلَيۡنَا تُرۡجَعُونَ

Every soul is certain to taste death: We test you all through the bad and the good, and to Us you will all return

Qur’an 21:35

كُلُّ نَفۡسࣲ ذَآئِقَةُ ٱلۡمَوۡتِۗ وَإِنَّمَا تُوَفَّوۡنَ أُجُورَكُمۡ يَوۡمَ ٱلۡقِيَٰمَةِۖ فَمَن زُحۡزِحَ عَنِ ٱلنَّارِ وَأُدۡخِلَ ٱلۡجَنَّةَ فَقَدۡ فَازَۗ وَمَا ٱلۡحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنۡيَآ إِلَّا مَتَٰعُ ٱلۡغُرُورِ

Every soul will taste death and you will be paid in full only on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever is kept away from the Fire and admitted to the Garden will have triumphed. The present world is only an illusory pleasure

Qur’an 3:185

Narrated Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that

Sahih al-Bukhari 5641graded sound, sahihaynfull report

Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.