If one thing stays with you

Let it be this.

It was a bereavement, and the reason nobody treated it as one is that the machinery which handles a death is social, and none of it switched on.

The reports people forward about a miscarried child are mostly weak, and what is sound is stronger than most people know and was in Bukhari and Muslim the whole time. Losing the weak ones costs you nothing.

And what changes things is not processing. It is standing. One name, one date, one place, or one person told. Chosen by you, done once, and it does not have to be explained to anybody.