Two. Defensiveness, which is not the same as explaining

Defensiveness is answering a complaint with either a counter complaint or a full innocence plea. Well you did the same thing in March. Or, I did call, and if you had checked your phone you would know that.

It feels like accuracy. What it does is reject the complaint entirely, which tells the other person that nothing they raise will ever land. So next time they raise it louder, which is how criticism gets manufactured.

The alternative is not agreeing that you are wrong. It is taking a part of it. Even a small part. You are right that I did not tell you.