Mercy is a behaviour, not a temperament

People talk about rahma in a marriage as though it were a feeling you either have on a given evening or do not.

The way the texts use it, it is much more ordinary than that. It is what you do with your voice when you are tired. Whether you take the plate. Whether you make the thing easier or slightly harder than it needed to be.

That is good news for anyone who does not feel merciful at half past ten on a Tuesday. Nobody is asking you to produce a feeling. The behaviour is available whether or not the feeling turns up, and the feeling tends to follow it more often than the other way round.