A test you can carry
Answer it in your head first.
Your aunt tells you that a good wife is patient and that raising things causes fitna. What is the question worth asking about that advice, without arguing with her?
Ask which way it points. If the same principle would also be given to your husband, in the same room, by the same person, then it is a principle. If it is only ever produced in one direction, it is being used to end a conversation rather than to guide one. That is a question about the person quoting, not about the religion.