Repair is not the same as giving in

This is the objection everybody has, and it deserves a straight answer.

Making a repair attempt does not mean the complaint was invalid. It does not mean you were wrong, and it does not mean the subject is dropped. You can repair at nine o'clock and raise the same thing again at eleven, calmly, and get much further with it.

What repair does is protect the thing you need in order to have the conversation at all, which is two people who are not currently overwhelmed and not currently insulted.

If it genuinely is always you repairing and never them, that is real information, and it is what lesson six is for. But most people who believe that have not counted.