Before anything else. If any of these is true for you, this course is not the right one and you should not use what it teaches. You are afraid of your spouse. You change what you say to avoid a reaction. You have been hurt physically, even once. You are not allowed to see people, hold money, or go out alone. Your phone or your movements are checked. You have been threatened. Sex happens when you do not want it. Nothing is scored here and nobody is being told what is happening to them. But repair skills are not safe where one person is controlling the other, because technique in that situation becomes another tool for the person doing the harm. Go to the course called When home is not safe instead.
Lesson 5 of 6
A bid is a small request for connection. It almost never looks like one.
Look at this. Did you see what your sister put on the group. The car is making that noise again. A hand on a shoulder as somebody passes behind a chair.
None of those are about their content. They are all the same question underneath, asked a hundred times a week: are you there. Most marriages contain far more of these than anyone notices, and they are noticed only by their absence.