The hadith that stops Muslims asking, and its counterweight
These two must be read together or neither one should be read.
The upper hand is better than the lower hand, the upper being the giver and the lower the one who asks. That report, on its own, has probably stopped more Muslims from asking for help than anything else in the tradition. There is a matching set about the dignity of earning, that a man taking a rope and gathering firewood is better for him than begging from people. And there is the report that whoever abstains from asking, Allah makes him content, and that nobody is given a better gift than patience.
Now the counterweight, and it is decisive. Qabisah came asking, and was told that asking is permitted in three cases. The first named case is a man who has taken on a debt, for whom asking is permitted until it is settled. The second is a man whose property has been destroyed by a calamity. The third is a man struck by poverty attested by people who know him.
Read that again. The tradition does not merely tolerate asking when you are in debt. It names debt as the first of the three cases in which it is explicitly permitted.
And there is a category in the Qur'an's own list of who zakat is for, al-gharimin, those in debt. Most Muslims in difficulty have no idea it is there. Receiving from it is not charity in the sense of a favour. It is a share the Qur'an allocated to people in your situation. Whether you personally qualify is a question for someone knowledgeable, and it is a question worth actually asking.
Qur’an and Sunnah
۞إِنَّمَا ٱلصَّدَقَٰتُ لِلۡفُقَرَآءِ وَٱلۡمَسَٰكِينِ وَٱلۡعَٰمِلِينَ عَلَيۡهَا وَٱلۡمُؤَلَّفَةِ قُلُوبُهُمۡ وَفِي ٱلرِّقَابِ وَٱلۡغَٰرِمِينَ وَفِي سَبِيلِ ٱللَّهِ وَٱبۡنِ ٱلسَّبِيلِۖ فَرِيضَةࣰ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِۗ وَٱللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَكِيمࣱ
Alms are meant only for the poor, the needy, those who administer them, those whose hearts need winning over, to free slaves and help those in debt, for God’s cause, and for travellers in need. This is ordained by God; God is all knowing and wise
Qur’an 9:60
Narrated Ibn `Umar:I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) while he was on the pulpit speaking about charity, to abstain from asking others for some financial help and about begging others, saying, "The upper hand is better than the lower hand. The upper hand is that of the giver and the lower (hand) is that of the beggar
Sahih al-Bukhari 1429graded sound, sahihaynfull report
Narrated Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri:Some Ansari persons asked for (something) from Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and he gave them. They again asked him for (something) and he again gave them. And then they asked him and he gave them again till all that was with him finished. And then he said "If I had anything. I would not keep it away from you. (Remember) Whoever abstains from asking others, Allah will make him contented, and whoever tries to make himself self-sufficient, Allah will make him self-sufficient. And whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience
Sahih al-Bukhari 1469graded sound, sahihaynfull report
Narrated Abu Huraira:Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "By Him in Whose Hand my life is, it is better for anyone of you to take a rope and cut the wood (from the forest) and carry it over his back and sell it (as a means of earning his living) rather than to ask a person for something and that person may give him or not
Sahih al-Bukhari 1470graded sound, sahihaynfull report
Qabisa b. Mukhariq al-Hilali said:I was under debt and I came to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and begged from him regarding it. He said: Wait till we receive Sadaqa, so that we order that to be given to you. He again said: Qabisa, begging is not permissible but for one of the three (classes) of persons: one who has incurred debt, for him begging is permissible till he pays that off, after which he must stop it; a man whose property has been destroyed by a calamity which has smitten him, for him begging is permissible till he gets what will support life, or will provide him reasonable subsistence; and a person who has been smitten by poverty. the genuineness of which is confirmed by three intelligent members of this peoples for him begging is permissible till he gets what will support him, or will provide him subsistence. Qabisa, besides these three (every other reason) for begging is forbidden, and one who engages in such consumes that what is forbidden
Sahih Muslim 1044graded sound, sahihaynfull report
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.