What the Sunnah records, and what it does not
Four things. That men who beat their wives were named as not the best of the community. That the Prophet, peace be upon him, never struck anyone with his hand, not a woman and not a servant. That the report about flogging a wife is disgust at the act, not a permission with a limit attached, and it is read backwards constantly. And that the best of you is the best to his wives.
Then two more that matter for what you can actually do. A woman came saying she found no fault in her husband's character or religion but could not remain with him, and she was released, without proving misconduct and without a lecture on patience. And obedience is only in what is good.
Qur’an and Sunnah
Narrated `Abdullah bin Zam`a:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "None of you should flog his wife as he flogs a slave and then have sexual intercourse with her in the last part of the day
Sahih al-Bukhari 5204graded sound, sahihaynfull report
Narrated Ibn `Abbas:The wife of Thabit bin Qais came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! I do not blame Thabit for defects in his character or his religion, but I, being a Muslim, dislike to behave in un-Islamic manner (if I remain with him)." On that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said (to her), "Will you give back the garden which your husband has given you (as Mahr)?" She said, "Yes." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) said to Thabit, "O Thabit! Accept your garden, and divorce her once
Sahih al-Bukhari 5273graded sound, sahihaynfull report
Narrated `Ali:The Prophet (ﷺ) , sent an army and appointed some man their commander The man made a fire and then said (to the soldiers), "Enter it." Some of them intended to enter it while some others said, 'We have run away from it (i.e., embraced Islam to save ourselves from the 'fire')." They mentioned that to the Prophet, and he said about people who had intended to enter the fire. ''If they had entered it, they would have remained In it till the Day of Resurrection.'' Then he said to others, "No obedience for evil deeds, obedience is required only in what is good
Sahih al-Bukhari 7257graded sound, sahihaynfull report
This hadith has been narrated on the authority of Hisham through another chain of transmitters but with a slight variation of wording
Sahih Muslim 2328graded sound, sahihaynfull report
Narrated 'Aishah:that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "The best of you is the best to his wives, and I am the best of you to my wives, and when your companion dies, leave him alone
Jami' at-Tirmidhi 3895graded sound, albanifull report
Iyas ibn Abdullah ibn Abu Dhubab reported the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) as saying:Do not beat Allah's handmaidens, but when Umar came to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and said: Women have become emboldened towards their husbands, he (the Prophet) gave permission to beat them. Then many women came round the family of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) complaining against their husbands. So the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Many women have gone round Muhammad's family complaining against their husbands. They are not the best among you
Sunan Abi Dawud 2146graded sound, albanifull report