Couple conflict and communication

۞وَٱلۡوَٰلِدَٰتُ يُرۡضِعۡنَ أَوۡلَٰدَهُنَّ حَوۡلَيۡنِ كَامِلَيۡنِۖ لِمَنۡ أَرَادَ أَن يُتِمَّ ٱلرَّضَاعَةَۚ وَعَلَى ٱلۡمَوۡلُودِ لَهُۥ رِزۡقُهُنَّ وَكِسۡوَتُهُنَّ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِۚ لَا تُكَلَّفُ نَفۡسٌ إِلَّا وُسۡعَهَاۚ لَا تُضَآرَّ وَٰلِدَةُۢ بِوَلَدِهَا وَلَا مَوۡلُودࣱ لَّهُۥ بِوَلَدِهِۦۚ وَعَلَى ٱلۡوَارِثِ مِثۡلُ ذَٰلِكَۗ فَإِنۡ أَرَادَا فِصَالًا عَن تَرَاضࣲ مِّنۡهُمَا وَتَشَاوُرࣲ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيۡهِمَاۗ وَإِنۡ أَرَدتُّمۡ أَن تَسۡتَرۡضِعُوٓاْ أَوۡلَٰدَكُمۡ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ إِذَا سَلَّمۡتُم مَّآ ءَاتَيۡتُم بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِۗ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَٱعۡلَمُوٓاْ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ بِمَا تَعۡمَلُونَ بَصِيرࣱ‏

Mothers suckle their children for two whole years, if they wish to complete the term, and clothing and maintenance must be borne by the father in a fair manner. No one should be burdened with more than they can bear: no mother shall be made to suffer harm on account of her child, nor any father on account of his. The same duty is incumbent on the father’s heir. If, by mutual consent and consultation, the couple wish to wean [the child], they will not be blamed, nor will there be any blame if you wish to engage a wet nurse, provided you pay as agreed in a fair manner. Be mindful of God, knowing that He sees everything you do

وَٱلَّذِينَ ٱسۡتَجَابُواْ لِرَبِّهِمۡ وَأَقَامُواْ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَأَمۡرُهُمۡ شُورَىٰ بَيۡنَهُمۡ وَمِمَّا رَزَقۡنَٰهُمۡ يُنفِقُونَ

respond to their Lord; keep up the prayer; conduct their affairs by mutual consultation; give to others out of what We have provided for them

فَعَمِيَتۡ عَلَيۡهِمُ ٱلۡأَنۢبَآءُ يَوۡمَئِذࣲ فَهُمۡ لَا يَتَسَآءَلُونَ

All arguments will seem obscure to them on that Day; they will not be able to consult one another

فَبِمَا رَحۡمَةࣲ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمۡۖ وَلَوۡ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ ٱلۡقَلۡبِ لَٱنفَضُّواْ مِنۡ حَوۡلِكَۖ فَٱعۡفُ عَنۡهُمۡ وَٱسۡتَغۡفِرۡ لَهُمۡ وَشَاوِرۡهُمۡ فِي ٱلۡأَمۡرِۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمۡتَ فَتَوَكَّلۡ عَلَى ٱللَّهِۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُتَوَكِّلِينَ

By an act of mercy from God, you [Prophet] were gentle in your dealings with them- had you been harsh, or hard-hearted, they would have dispersed and left you- so pardon them and ask forgiveness for them. Consult with them about matters, then, when you have decided on a course of action, put your trust in God: God loves those who put their trust in Him

ءَأَشۡفَقۡتُمۡ أَن تُقَدِّمُواْ بَيۡنَ يَدَيۡ نَجۡوَىٰكُمۡ صَدَقَٰتࣲۚ فَإِذۡ لَمۡ تَفۡعَلُواْ وَتَابَ ٱللَّهُ عَلَيۡكُمۡ فَأَقِيمُواْ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَءَاتُواْ ٱلزَّكَوٰةَ وَأَطِيعُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُۥۚ وَٱللَّهُ خَبِيرُۢ بِمَا تَعۡمَلُونَ

Were you afraid to give charity before consulting the Prophet? Since you did not give charity, and God has relented towards you, you should [at least] observe your prayers, pay the prescribed alms, and obey God and His Messenger: God is well aware of your actions

أَسۡكِنُوهُنَّ مِنۡ حَيۡثُ سَكَنتُم مِّن وُجۡدِكُمۡ وَلَا تُضَآرُّوهُنَّ لِتُضَيِّقُواْ عَلَيۡهِنَّۚ وَإِن كُنَّ أُوْلَٰتِ حَمۡلࣲ فَأَنفِقُواْ عَلَيۡهِنَّ حَتَّىٰ يَضَعۡنَ حَمۡلَهُنَّۚ فَإِنۡ أَرۡضَعۡنَ لَكُمۡ فَـَٔاتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ وَأۡتَمِرُواْ بَيۡنَكُم بِمَعۡرُوفࣲۖ وَإِن تَعَاسَرۡتُمۡ فَسَتُرۡضِعُ لَهُۥٓ أُخۡرَىٰ

House the wives you are divorcing according to your means, wherever you house yourselves, and do not harass them so as to make their lives difficult. If they are pregnant, maintain them until they are delivered of their burdens; if they suckle your infants, pay them for it. Consult together in a good way- if you make difficulties for one another, another woman may suckle the child for the father––

Mothers shall suckle their children two whole years-for those who desire to complete the suckling. Great is that Lord who is unique in loving kindness and without peer in caressing servants. He be- stows in testing, He is loyal to assurances. If we call Him, He hears, and if we do not, He knows. He is generous, loving, love-showing, and love-increasing; gentle, defect-hiding, excuse-hearing, a good God. His bounty is beyond all bounty, His generosity beyond all generosity, His mercy greater than all mercies, His love not like other loves. The example given of utmost mercy is the mercy of mothers, but God's mercy toward His servants is more than that, and His love is not like their love. Do you not see that He commands mothers to give milk to their children for two complete years, He urges them to nurture them, and He counsels them to take care of them? He does not confine Himself to the

Mothers shall suckle their children for two full years kāmilayn ‘two full ones’ is an adjective for emphasis; this is for such as desire to fulfil the suckling and this is the maximum length of time. It is for the father to provide food for them the mothers and clothe them during the suckling if they be divorced honourably to the best of his ability. No soul is charged save to its capacity its ability; a mother shall not be harmed by her child that is on account of the child by being forced to suckle it if she does not want to; neither should a father be harmed by his child that is on account of it by being charged with more than he is able to bear. The mention of both parents here in relation to the child is intended to show sympathy for both. The heir the one inheriting from his father that is the young man who is the trustee of his father’s property has a similar duty to that of the f

and those who answer their Lord those who respond to what He has summoned them in the way of affirming His Oneness and worship of Him and observe prayer maintaining it regularly and whose courses of action those courses of action that seem good to them are a matter of counsel between them in which they consult one another and do not act hastily and who of what We have bestowed on them expend in obedience to God — such mentioned individuals constitute one category;

So whatever you have been given is but (a passing) enjoyment for this worldly life, but that which is with Allah is better and more lasting for those who believe and put their trust in their Lord (36)And those who shun the greater sins, and Al-Fawahish, and when they are angry, they forgive (37)And those who answer the Call of their Lord, and perform the Salah, and who (conduct) their affairs by mutual consultation, and who spend of what We have bestowed on them (38)And those who, when an oppressive wrong is done to them, take revenge (39) The Attributes of Those Who deserve that which is with Allah Here Allah points out the insignificance of this worldly life and its transient adornments and luxuries. فَمَا أُوتِيتُمْ مِنْ شَيْءٍ فَمَتَاعُ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا ۖ (So whatever you have been given is but (a passing) enjoyment for this worldly life.) means, no matter what you achieve a

It was by a mercy of God that thou wert soft with them. Hadst thou been harsh and hard of heart, they would have scattered from around thee. So pardon them, ask forgiveness for them, and consult with them in the affair. And when thou art resolved, trust in God. Surely God loves those who trust. “O master of masters! O paragon of engendered beings! You are generous and lovingly kind, gentle and ever-merciful to everyone. You drive everyone by customs that hit the mark. You call everyone to the table of exaltedness and convey to everlasting felicity. You are like a father for the orphans, a husband for the widowed. You caress the familiar and you show the road to the estranged. You are mercy itself for the world's folk, a cause of generous giving to all the servants. O master, there is all of this, but take care not to see yourself. Do not consider these as your own acquisitions, for all o

(O ye who believe! When ye hold conference with the messenger�) [58:12-13]. Muqatil ibn Hayyan said: �This was revealed about the rich. This is because they used to go to the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, and converse with him at length. In this fashion, they always beat the poor to the assemblies to the extent that the Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, disliked their prolonged sitting and conference. Allah, glorified and exalted is He, therefore revealed this verse and commanded that alms be given upon each conference with the Prophet. As for those who had straitened means, they did not have anything to give for alms, while those who were well off were niggardly. The Companions of the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, found this tough and so a dispensation was revealed�. �Ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be well pleased with him, said: �There

حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ بْنُ حُمَيْدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عُثْمَانُ بْنُ عُمَرَ، عَنْ يُونُسَ بْنِ يَزِيدَ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، رضى الله عنها قَالَتْ لَمَّا أُمِرَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم بِتَخْيِيرِ أَزْوَاجِهِ بَدَأَ بِي فَقَالَ ‏"‏ يَا عَائِشَةُ إِنِّي ذَاكِرٌ لَكِ أَمْرًا فَلاَ عَلَيْكِ أَنْ لاَ تَسْتَعْجِلِي حَتَّى تَسْتَأْمِرِي أَبَوَيْكِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَتْ وَقَدْ عَلِمَ أَنَّ أَبَوَاىَ لَمْ يَكُونَا لِيَأْمُرَانِي بِفِرَاقِهِ قَالَتْ ثُمَّ قَالَ ‏"‏ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَعَالَى يَقُولُ‏:‏ ‏(‏ يا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُلْ لأَزْوَاجِكَ إِنْ كُنْتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ الْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا وَزِينَتَهَا فَتَعَالَيْنَ ‏)‏ حَتَّى بَلَغَ ‏:‏ ‏(‏ للْمُحْسِنَاتِ مِنْكُنَّ أَجْرًا عَظِيمًا ‏)‏ فَقُلْتُ فِي أَىِّ هَذَا أَسْتَأْمِرُ أَبَوَىَّ فَإِنِّي أُرِيدُ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَالدَّارَ الآخِرَةَ وَفَعَلَ أَزْوَاجُ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم مِثْلَ مَا فَعَلْتُ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ ‏.‏ وَقَدْ رُوِيَ هَذَا أَيْضًا عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ عَنْ عُرْوَةَ عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رضى الله عنها ‏.‏

Narrated 'Aishah [may Allah be pleased with her]:"When the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was ordered to tell his wives to make a choice, he started with me. He said: 'O 'Aishah! I am going to mention something to you, but you should not hasten (to reply) until you have consulted your parents.'" She said: "And he knew that my parents would not have ordered me to part from him.'" She said: "Then Allah [Most High] revealed: 'O Prophet! Say to your wives: If you desire the life of this world and its glitter then come...' until reaching: '...for the good doers among you an enormous reward (33:28 & 29).' I said: 'For what should I consult my parents? Indeed I want Allah, His Messenger, and the abode of the Hereafter.' The (remaining) wives of the Prophet (ﷺ) did the same as I did

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ إِدْرِيسَ، عَنِ ابْنِ جُرَيْجٍ، ح وَحَدَّثَنَا إِسْحَاقُ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ رَافِعٍ، جَمِيعًا عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّزَّاقِ، - وَاللَّفْظُ لاِبْنِ رَافِعٍ - حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّزَّاقِ، أَخْبَرَنَا ابْنُ جُرَيْجٍ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ ابْنَ أَبِي مُلَيْكَةَ، يَقُولُ قَالَ ذَكْوَانُ مَوْلَى عَائِشَةَ سَمِعْتُ عَائِشَةَ، تَقُولُ سَأَلْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم عَنِ الْجَارِيَةِ يُنْكِحُهَا أَهْلُهَا أَتُسْتَأْمَرُ أَمْ لاَ فَقَالَ لَهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ نَعَمْ تُسْتَأْمَرُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ فَقُلْتُ لَهُ فَإِنَّهَا تَسْتَحْيِي ‏.‏ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ فَذَلِكَ إِذْنُهَا إِذَا هِيَ سَكَتَتْ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported:I asked Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) about a virgin whose marriage is solemnised by her guardian, whether it was necessary or not to consult her. Allah's Messerger (ﷺ) said: Yes, she must be consulted. 'A'isha reported: I told him that she feels shy, whereupon Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: Her silence implies her consent

حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ الْمُثَنَّى، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ أَبِي بُكَيْرٍ، حَدَّثَنَا شَيْبَانُ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الْمَلِكِ بْنِ عُمَيْرٍ، عَنْ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ الْمُسْتَشَارُ مُؤْتَمَنٌ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (ﷺ) said: He who is consulted is trustworthy

حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ عَبْدَةَ الضَّبِّيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ زَيْدٍ، عَنْ ثَابِتٍ، عَنْ أَنَسٍ، قَالَ نَزَلَتْ هَذِهِ الآيَةُ ‏:‏ ‏(‏وتُخْفِي فِي نَفْسِكَ مَا اللَّهُ مُبْدِيهِ وَتَخْشَى النَّاسَ ‏)‏ فِي شَأْنِ زَيْنَبَ بِنْتِ جَحْشٍ جَاءَ زَيْدٌ يَشْكُو فَهَمَّ بِطَلاَقِهَا فَاسْتَأْمَرَ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ أَمْسِكْ عَلَيْكَ زَوْجَكَ وَاتَّقِ اللَّهَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ ‏.‏

Narrated Anas:"When this Ayah was revealed: 'But you did hide in yourself that which Allah will make manifest... (33:37)' about Zainab bint Jahsh, Zaid had come to the Prophet (ﷺ) complaining, and he wanted to divorce her, so he consulted with the Prophet (ﷺ). The Prophet (ﷺ) said: 'Keep your wife to yourself, and have Taqwa of Allah (33:)

حَدَّثَنَا عِيسَى بْنُ حَمَّادٍ الْمِصْرِيُّ، أَنْبَأَنَا اللَّيْثُ بْنُ سَعْدٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبِي حُسَيْنٍ، عَنْ عَدِيِّ بْنِ عَدِيٍّ الْكِنْدِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ ‏ "‏ الثَّيِّبُ تُعْرِبُ عَنْ نَفْسِهَا وَالْبِكْرُ رِضَاهَا صَمْتُهَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏

It was narrated from Adi bin Adi Al-Kindi that:his father said: “The Messenger of Allah said: 'A previously-married woman can speak for herself, and the consent of a virgin is her silence.' ”

حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ الدِّمَشْقِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ نَافِعٍ الصَّائِغُ، حَدَّثَنِي عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ نَافِعٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ، ‏.‏ أَنَّهُ حِينَ هَلَكَ عُثْمَانُ بْنُ مَظْعُونٍ تَرَكَ ابْنَةً لَهُ ‏.‏ قَالَ ابْنُ عُمَرَ فَزَوَّجَنِيهَا خَالِي قُدَامَةُ وَهُوَ عَمُّهَا وَلَمْ يُشَاوِرْهَا وَذَلِكَ بَعْدَ مَا هَلَكَ أَبُوهَا فَكَرِهَتْ نِكَاحَهُ وَأَحَبَّتِ الْجَارِيَةُ أَنْ يُزَوِّجَهَا الْمُغِيرَةَ بْنَ شُعْبَةَ فَزَوَّجَهَا إِيَّاهُ ‏.‏

It was narrated from Ibn Umar that:when Uthman bin Mazun died, he left behind a daughter. Ibn Umar said: “My maternal uncle Qudamah, who was her paternal uncle, married me to her, but he did not consult her. That was after her father had died. She did not like this marriage, and the girl wanted to marry Mughirah bin Shubah, so she married him.”

وكذلك الفدية والخلع التي شرعها الله يخلص كلا من الزوجين من الآخر إذا وقع الشقاق بينهما فجعلوه حيلة للحنث في اليمين وبقاء النكاح والله سبحانه إنما شرعه لقطع النكاح حيث يكون قطعه مصلحة لهما

ثم يسبح الله تعالى ويحمده حتى يبلغ الركن العراقي فعنده يقول اللهم إني أعوذ بك من الشرك الشك والكفر والنفاق والشقاق وسوء الأخلاق وسوء المنظر في الأهل والمال والولد

أما الزوج فعليه مراعاة الاعتدال والأدب في اثني عشر أمرا في الوليمة والمعاشرة والدعابة والسياسة والغيرة والنفقة والتعليم والقسم والتأديب في النشوز والوقاع والولادة والمفارقة بالطلاق

التاسع: النشوز، فإذا كان النشوز من المرأة، فله أن يؤدبها ويحملها على الطاعة قهرا، ولكنه ينبغي أن يتدرج فى تأديبها بتقديم الوعظ والتخويف، فإن لم ينفع

قوله : ويصح بثلاثة شرائط باستواء الحالات عند العبد وسقوط الخصومة مع الخلق والخلاص من المسألة والإلحاح

وذلك : لأن المسألة : فيها ضرب من الخصومة والمنازعة والمحاربة والرجوع عن مالك الضر والنفع إلى من لا يملك لنفسه ضرا ولا نفعا إلا بربه وفيها الغيبة عن المعطي المانع

Evaluating a brief prevention program for improving marital conflict in community families.: Marital conflict is related to well-being in children and adults (E. M. Cummings & P. T. Davies, 2002). Marital conflict is likely most effectively ameliorated before it becomes clinically significant. However, families without significant problems may be unwilling to participate in couples therapies or other lengthy or intensive interventions. Responding to this gap, the authors developed a 4-session psychoeducational program about marital conflict for community families. Couples with children

Parent training with behavioral couples therapy for fathers' alcohol abuse: effects on substance use, parental relationship, parenting, and CPS involvement.: This pilot study examined effects of Parent Skills with Behavioral Couples Therapy (PSBCT) on substance use, parenting, and relationship conflict among fathers with alcohol use disorders. Male participants (N = 30) entering outpatient alcohol treatment, their female partners, and a custodial child (8 to 12 years) were randomly assigned to (a) PSBCT; (b) Behavioral Couples Therapy (BCT); or (c) Individual-Based Treatment (IBT). Children were not actively involved in treatment. Parents completed m

A two-dimensional approach to relationship conflict: meta-analytic findings.: This meta-analysis of 64 studies (5,071 couples) used a metacoding system to categorize observed couple conflict behaviors into categories differing in terms of valence (positive to negative) and intensity (high to low) and resulting in five behavioral categories: hostility, distress, withdrawal, problem solving, and intimacy. Aggregate effect sizes indicated that women were somewhat more likely to display hostility, distress, and intimacy during conflict, whereas men were somewhat more likely t

Fathers' and mothers' attachment styles, couple conflict, parenting quality, and children's behavior problems: an intervention test of mediation.: A diverse sample of 239 primarily low-income couples participated in a random controlled trial of the Supporting Father Involvement couples group intervention. In this report, we examined the value of adding measures of fathers' attachment style and parenting to mothers' measures in order to explain variations in children's behavior problems. We also tested the hypothesis that the link between intervention-induced reductions in couple conflict and reductions in anxious/harsh parenting can be exp

Effects of a Program to Promote High Quality Parenting by Divorced and Separated Fathers.: This paper reports on the effects on parenting and on children's mental health problems and competencies from a randomized trial of a parenting program for divorced and separated fathers. The program, New Beginnings Program-Dads (NBP-Dads), includes ten group sessions (plus two phone sessions) which promote parenting skills to increase positive interactions with children, improve father-child communication, use of effective discipline strategies, and skills to protect children from exposure to i

Long-term interparental conflict behavior and knowledge change after a brief family intervention.: To address a gap in the translational research on marital and family conflict intervention, we used a series of multilevel models to examine how interparental constructive conflict behavior, conflict resolution, and conflict knowledge improved up to 3 years postintervention in the Family Communication Project (FCP). The FCP was an experimental, longitudinal intervention focused on family conflict, communication, and adolescent adjustment. Participants consisted of adolescents and their two prima