Gentleness and harshness الرفق

فَبِمَا رَحۡمَةࣲ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمۡۖ وَلَوۡ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ ٱلۡقَلۡبِ لَٱنفَضُّواْ مِنۡ حَوۡلِكَۖ فَٱعۡفُ عَنۡهُمۡ وَٱسۡتَغۡفِرۡ لَهُمۡ وَشَاوِرۡهُمۡ فِي ٱلۡأَمۡرِۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمۡتَ فَتَوَكَّلۡ عَلَى ٱللَّهِۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُتَوَكِّلِينَ

By an act of mercy from God, you [Prophet] were gentle in your dealings with them- had you been harsh, or hard-hearted, they would have dispersed and left you- so pardon them and ask forgiveness for them. Consult with them about matters, then, when you have decided on a course of action, put your trust in God: God loves those who put their trust in Him

فَقُولَا لَهُۥ قَوۡلࣰ ا لَّيِّنࣰ ا لَّعَلَّهُۥ يَتَذَكَّرُ أَوۡ يَخۡشَىٰ

Speak to him gently so that he may take heed, or show respect.’

فَسَخَّرۡنَا لَهُ ٱلرِّيحَ تَجۡرِي بِأَمۡرِهِۦ رُخَآءً حَيۡثُ أَصَابَ

So We gave him power over the wind, which at his request ran gently wherever he willed

وَلَقَدۡ ضَرَبۡنَا لِلنَّاسِ فِي هَٰذَا ٱلۡقُرۡءَانِ مِن كُلِّ مَثَلࣲۚ وَلَئِن جِئۡتَهُم بِـَٔايَةࣲ لَّيَقُولَنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ كَفَرُوٓاْ إِنۡ أَنتُمۡ إِلَّا مُبۡطِلُونَ

In this Quran We have set every kind of illustration before people, yet if you [Prophet] brought them a miracle, the disbelievers would still say, ‘You [prophets] deal only in falsehood.’

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّبِيُّ قُل لِّأَزۡوَٰجِكَ إِن كُنتُنَّ تُرِدۡنَ ٱلۡحَيَوٰةَ ٱلدُّنۡيَا وَزِينَتَهَا فَتَعَالَيۡنَ أُمَتِّعۡكُنَّ وَأُسَرِّحۡكُنَّ سَرَاحࣰ ا جَمِيلࣰ ا

Prophet, say to your wives,‘If your desire is for the present life and its finery, then come, I will make provision for you and release you with kindness

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمۡ أَن تَرِثُواْ ٱلنِّسَآءَ كَرۡهࣰ اۖ وَلَا تَعۡضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذۡهَبُواْ بِبَعۡضِ مَآ ءَاتَيۡتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّآ أَن يَأۡتِينَ بِفَٰحِشَةࣲ مُّبَيِّنَةࣲۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِۚ فَإِن كَرِهۡتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡـࣰٔ ا وَيَجۡعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيۡرࣰ ا كَثِيرࣰ ا

You who believe, it is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will, nor should you treat your wives harshly, hoping to take back some of the bride-gift you gave them, unless they are guilty of something clearly outrageous. Live with them in accordance with what is fair and kind: if you dislike them, it may well be that you dislike something in which God has put much good

It was by a mercy of God that thou wert soft with them. Hadst thou been harsh and hard of heart, they would have scattered from around thee. So pardon them, ask forgiveness for them, and consult with them in the affair. And when thou art resolved, trust in God. Surely God loves those who trust. “O master of masters! O paragon of engendered beings! You are generous and lovingly kind, gentle and ever-merciful to everyone. You drive everyone by customs that hit the mark. You call everyone to the table of exaltedness and convey to everlasting felicity. You are like a father for the orphans, a husband for the widowed. You caress the familiar and you show the road to the estranged. You are mercy itself for the world's folk, a cause of generous giving to all the servants. O master, there is all of this, but take care not to see yourself. Do not consider these as your own acquisitions, for all o

It was by the mercy of God that you O Muhammad (s) were lenient with them that is that you showed indulgence toward them when they disobeyed you; had you been harsh ill-natured and fierce of heart brutish and coarse towards them they would have dispersed split away from about you. So pardon them pass over what they have done and ask forgiveness for them for their sins until I forgive them and consult them find out their opinions in the matter that is your affair in the battle and otherwise in order to win their hearts over and so that you may be emulated in this respect; and indeed the Prophet s would frequently consult them. And when you are resolved to carry out what you wish after counsel rely on God put your trust in Him and not in any counsel; for God loves those who rely on Him.

And speak to him gentle words for him to renounce such claims that perhaps he may be mindful be admonished or fear’ God and so repent — the ‘hope’ for Pharaoh’s repentance is expressed from their perspective for God knows that he was not going to repent.

"When your sister went and said: 'Shall I show you one who will nurse him' So We restored you to your mother, that she might cool her eyes and she should not grieve. Then you did kill a man, but We saved you from great distress and tried you with a heavy trial.", Then you stayed a number of years with the people of Madyan. Then you came here according to the fixed term which I ordained (for you), O Musa (40)And I have chosen you for Myself (41)Go you and your brother with My Ayat, and do not, you both, slacken and become weak in My remembrance (42)Go both of you to Fir'awn, verily, he has transgressed (43)And speak to him mildly, perhaps he may accept admonition or fear (Allah)(44) Choosing Musa to go to Fir'awn and to be Soft and Gentle in His Invitation Allah, the Exalted, says in His address to Musa that he had lived among the people of Madyan, avoiding Fir'awn and his chiefs. He wo

O you who have faith, it is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will, neither debar them from marriage that you may go off with part of what you have given them, unless they commit a flagrant indecency. Consort with them honorably. For, if you are averse to them, it may be that you are averse to something within which God has placed much good. This is a call, an admonishment, an allusion, a bearing witness, and a ruling. O is the call, you is the admonishment, who is the allusion, have faith is the bearing witness. It is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will is the ruling. The explanation of the ruling is that women are considered weak, and they are imprisoned beneath your severity. Beware of tormenting them, and do not rule over them by way of scheming and deceit. Do not be severe, and do not ask of them what the Shariah does not approve. On the contrary,

So We disposed for him the wind which blew softly gently at his command wherever he intended.

حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ أَبِي عُمَرَ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ بْنُ عُيَيْنَةَ، عَنْ عَمْرِو بْنِ دِينَارٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي مُلَيْكَةَ، عَنْ يَعْلَى بْنِ مَمْلَكٍ، عَنْ أُمِّ الدَّرْدَاءِ، عَنْ أَبِي الدَّرْدَاءِ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ "‏ مَنْ أُعْطِيَ حَظَّهُ مِنَ الرِّفْقِ فَقَدْ أُعْطِيَ حَظَّهُ مِنَ الْخَيْرِ وَمَنْ حُرِمَ حَظَّهُ مِنَ الرِّفْقِ فَقَدْ حُرِمَ حَظَّهُ مِنَ الْخَيْرِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى وَفِي الْبَابِ عَنْ عَائِشَةَ وَجَرِيرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ وَأَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ‏.‏ وَهَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ ‏.‏

Abu Ad-Darda narrated that the Messenger of Allah said:"Whoever was given his share of gentleness, then he has been given a share of good. And whoever has been prevented from his share of gentleness, then he has been prevented from his share of good

حَدَّثَنَا عُمَرُ بْنُ حَفْصٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبِي، حَدَّثَنَا الأَعْمَشُ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي زَيْدُ بْنُ وَهْبٍ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ جَرِيرَ بْنَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ "‏ مَنْ لاَ يَرْحَمُ لاَ يُرْحَمُ ‏"‏‏.‏

Narrated Jarir bin `Abdullah:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "He who is not merciful to others, will not be treated mercifully

حَدَّثَنَا مُوسَى بْنُ إِسْمَاعِيلَ، حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادٌ، عَنْ يُونُسَ، وَحُمَيْدٍ، عَنِ الْحَسَنِ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ مُغَفَّلٍ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ "‏ إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ وَيُعْطِي عَلَيْهِ مَا لاَ يُعْطِي عَلَى الْعُنْفِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

Abd Allah b. Mughaffal reported the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) as saying :Allah is gentle, likes gentleness, and gives for gentleness what he does not give for harshness

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو مُعَاوِيَةَ، وَوَكِيعٌ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ تَمِيمِ بْنِ سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ هِلاَلٍ، عَنْ جَرِيرٍ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ مَنْ يُحْرَمِ الرِّفْقَ يُحْرَمِ الْخَيْرَ كُلَّهُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

Narrated Jarir: The Prophet (ﷺ) said: He who is deprived of gentleness is deprived of good

حَدَّثَنَا إِسْمَاعِيلُ بْنُ حَفْصٍ الأُبُلِّيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ عَيَّاشٍ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ أَبِي صَالِحٍ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ قَالَ ‏ "‏ إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ وَيُعْطِي عَلَيْهِ مَا لاَ يُعْطِي عَلَى الْعُنْفِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) said:"Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness, and He grants reward for it that He does not grant for harshness

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ مُصْعَبٍ، عَنِ الأَوْزَاعِيِّ، ح وَحَدَّثَنَا هِشَامُ بْنُ عَمَّارٍ، وَعَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا الْوَلِيدُ بْنُ مُسْلِمٍ، حَدَّثَنَا الأَوْزَاعِيُّ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، عَنْ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ قَالَ ‏ "‏ إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ فِي الأَمْرِ كُلِّهِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

It was narrated from Aishah that the Prophet(ﷺ) said:"Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness in all things

أو لفظا هذا معناه وكان هذا إشارة إلى أن الرفق أولى من العنف و التغليظ

اعلم أن الرفق محمود ويضاده العنف والحدة والعنف نتيجة الغضب والفظاظة

وأما الرفق في الأمر بالمعروف والنهى عن المنكر، فمتعين، قال الله تعالى: {فقولا له قولا لينا} [طه: 44].

ولما ثقل أبو بكر رضي الله تعالى عنه وأراد الناس منه أن يستخلف فاستخلف عمر رضي الله عنه فقال الناس له استخلفت علينا فظا غليظا فماذا تقول لربك فقال أقول استخلفت على خلقك خير خلقك

قال تعالى @QB@ واخفض جناحك للمؤمنين @QE@ الحجر وقال تعالى ولو كنت فظا غليظ القلب لا نفضوا من حولك آل عمران

وفي الخبر موقوفا ومرفوعا العلم خليل المؤمن والحلم وزيره والعقل دليله والعمل قيمه والرفق والده واللين أخوه والصبر أمير جنوده + حديث العلم خليل المؤمن والحلم وزيره والعقل دليله والعمل قائدة والرفق والده أخرجه أبو الشيخ في كتاب الثواب وفضائل الأعمال من حديث أنس بسند ضعيف ورواه القضاعي في مسند الشهاب من حديث أبي الدرداء وأبي هريرة وكلاهما ضعيف + وقال بعضهم ما أحسن الإيمان يزينه العلم وما أحسن العلم يزينه العمل وما أحسن العمل يزينه الرفق وما أضيف شيء إلى شيء مثل حلم إلى علم وقال عمرو بن العاص لابنه عبد الله ما الرفق قال تكون ذا أناة فتلاين الولاة قال فما الخرق قال معاداة إمامك ومناوأة من يقدر على ضررك وقال سفيان لأصحابه تدرون ما الرفق قالوا قل يا أبا محمد قال أن تضع الأمور من مواضعها الشدة في موضعها واللين في موضعه والسيف في موضعه والسوط في موضعه وهذه إشارة إلى أنه لا بد من مزج الغلظة باللين والفظاظة بالرفق كما قيل

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