Shame and guilt الخجل والذنب

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ تُوبُوٓاْ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ تَوۡبَةࣰ نَّصُوحًا عَسَىٰ رَبُّكُمۡ أَن يُكَفِّرَ عَنكُمۡ سَيِّـَٔاتِكُمۡ وَيُدۡخِلَكُمۡ جَنَّٰتࣲ تَجۡرِي مِن تَحۡتِهَا ٱلۡأَنۡهَٰرُ يَوۡمَ لَا يُخۡزِي ٱللَّهُ ٱلنَّبِيَّ وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ مَعَهُۥۖ نُورُهُمۡ يَسۡعَىٰ بَيۡنَ أَيۡدِيهِمۡ وَبِأَيۡمَٰنِهِمۡ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَآ أَتۡمِمۡ لَنَا نُورَنَا وَٱغۡفِرۡ لَنَآۖ إِنَّكَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيۡءࣲ قَدِيرࣱ‏

Believers, turn to God in sincere repentance. Your Lord may well cancel your bad deeds for you and admit you into Gardens graced with flowing streams, on a Day when God will not disgrace the Prophet or those who have believed with him. With their lights streaming out ahead of them and to their right, they will say, ‘Lord, perfect our lights for us and forgive us: You have power over everything.’

إِنَّمَا ٱلتَّوۡبَةُ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ لِلَّذِينَ يَعۡمَلُونَ ٱلسُّوٓءَ بِجَهَٰلَةࣲ ثُمَّ يَتُوبُونَ مِن قَرِيبࣲ فَأُوْلَٰٓئِكَ يَتُوبُ ٱللَّهُ عَلَيۡهِمۡۗ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ عَلِيمًا حَكِيمࣰ ا

But God only undertakes to accept repentance from those who do evil out of ignorance and soon afterwards repent: these are the ones God will forgive, He is all knowing, all wise

وَلَيۡسَتِ ٱلتَّوۡبَةُ لِلَّذِينَ يَعۡمَلُونَ ٱلسَّيِّـَٔاتِ حَتَّىٰٓ إِذَا حَضَرَ أَحَدَهُمُ ٱلۡمَوۡتُ قَالَ إِنِّي تُبۡتُ ٱلۡـَٰٔنَ وَلَا ٱلَّذِينَ يَمُوتُونَ وَهُمۡ كُفَّارٌۚ أُوْلَٰٓئِكَ أَعۡتَدۡنَا لَهُمۡ عَذَابًا أَلِيمࣰ ا

It is not true repentance when people continue to do evil until death confronts them and then say, ‘Now I repent,’ nor when they die defiant: We have prepared a painful torment for these

وَهُوَ ٱلَّذِي يَقۡبَلُ ٱلتَّوۡبَةَ عَنۡ عِبَادِهِۦ وَيَعۡفُواْ عَنِ ٱلسَّيِّـَٔاتِ وَيَعۡلَمُ مَا تَفۡعَلُونَ

it is He who accepts repentance from His servants and pardons bad deeds- He knows everything you do

أَلَمۡ يَعۡلَمُوٓاْ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ هُوَ يَقۡبَلُ ٱلتَّوۡبَةَ عَنۡ عِبَادِهِۦ وَيَأۡخُذُ ٱلصَّدَقَٰتِ وَأَنَّ ٱللَّهَ هُوَ ٱلتَّوَّابُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ

Do they not know that it is God Himself who accepts repentance from His servants and receives what is given freely for His sake? He is always ready to accept repentance, most merciful

وَإِذۡ قَالَ مُوسَىٰ لِقَوۡمِهِۦ يَٰقَوۡمِ إِنَّكُمۡ ظَلَمۡتُمۡ أَنفُسَكُم بِٱتِّخَاذِكُمُ ٱلۡعِجۡلَ فَتُوبُوٓاْ إِلَىٰ بَارِئِكُمۡ فَٱقۡتُلُوٓاْ أَنفُسَكُمۡ ذَٰلِكُمۡ خَيۡرࣱ لَّكُمۡ عِندَ بَارِئِكُمۡ فَتَابَ عَلَيۡكُمۡۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلتَّوَّابُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ

Moses said to his people, ‘My people, you have wronged yourselves by worshipping the calf, so repent to your Maker and kill [the guilty among] you. That is the best you can do in the eyes of your Maker.’ He accepted your repentance: He is the Ever Relenting and the Most Merciful

O you who have faith, repent to God with true repentance. “O believers, familiars, and friends, all of you repent! Come back to My threshold! Turn to Me! Though you have done what comes from you, I will do what comes from Me! Nobody accepts the defective except here. Come back! No threshold forgives sins but here. Seek shelter in Me! Come from the unkindly to the Lovingly Kind! Come from the pain of despair to hope! I have no fear of forgiving sins, come back! I am not ashamed to accept the defective, return!” Read the equivalent of this verse in “Be penitent toward your Lord” [39:54]. The station of penitence is higher than the station of repentance. Penitence is the servant's return to his Lord with heart and aspiration, and repentance is the servant's return from disobedience to obedience. What is penitence? Coming from the valley of hypocrisy on the feet of truthfulness to the valley

O you who believe! Repent to God with sincere repentance read nasūhan or nusūhan a truthful repentance so that one does not return to committing that sin again nor have the desire to return to it. It may be that your Lord ‘asā an expression denoting ‘a hope’ that will be realised will absolve you of your misdeeds and admit you into gardens orchards underneath which rivers flow on the day when God will not let down by admitting into the Fire the Prophet and those who believe with him. Their light will be running before them in front of them and it will be on their right. They will say yaqūlūna this denotes the beginning of a new syntactically independent sentence ‘Our Lord! Perfect our light for us towards Paradise — whereas the hypocrites their light will be extinguished — and forgive us Our Lord. Assuredly You have power over all things’.

It is for God to turn only toward those who do the ugly in ignorance and then soon turn. Those-God will turn toward them. And God is knowing, wise. Turning/repentance [tawba] is the mark of the road, the leader to the court, the key to the treasure, the intercessor of union, the head of every happiness, and the basis of freedom. First is regret in the heart, second apology with the tongue, and then cutting off from bad things and bad people. It has come in the report that when someone repents but does not put aside bad friends, he is not a repenter. When someone repents but does not put aside food and drink, he is not a repenter. When someone repents but does not put aside his bedclothes and empty his eyes of sleep, he is not a repenter. When someone repents but does not expend the wealth left over after food, he is not a repenter. The precondition of repentance is that you detach your h

This turning will not belong to those who keep on doing ugly deeds until death is present for one of them, and then he says: “Surely now I have turned.” In the tongue of learning, one must repent before death, even if it be one moment. In the tongue of practice, one must repent before the soul has the habit of seeing itself and worshiping itself. When someone is pleased with himself and gazes upon himself habitually, the door to repentance has been shut to him and the water of deliverance taken away from him. Quit being the companion of self-nurturing habit-worshipers! Kiss the dust beneath the feet of those who have disowned self! [DS 972] Not everyone who has repented in the road of the Shariah, thereby reaching pardon and forgive- ness, has reached truthfulness in love in respect of the Haqiqah. For a long time David the prophet wept and pleaded. At last it was said to him, “O David!

The repentance that God accepts that is the one which He has prescribed for Himself to accept out of His bounty is only of those who do evil an act of disobedience in ignorance bi-jahālatin a circumstantial qualifier in other words ‘they are ignorant’ while they are disobeying their Lord; then repent shortly thereafter before the last gasps of death; God will relent to those He will accept their repentance. And God is ever Knowing of His creatures Wise in what He does with them.

Repentance is not for those who do evil deeds sins until when death approaches one of them and the pangs of death begin he says upon witnessing his predicament ‘Indeed now I repent’ for this would not avail him and would not be accepted from him; neither for those who die disbelieving if they repent in the Hereafter upon seeing the chastisement it will not be accepted from them. Those — We have prepared for them a painful chastisement.

حَدَّثَنَا عَبَّاسُ بْنُ عَبْدِ الْعَظِيمِ الْعَنْبَرِيُّ، وَغَيْرُ، وَاحِدٍ، قَالُوا حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو دَاوُدَ الطَّيَالِسِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا عِمْرَانُ الْقَطَّانُ، عَنْ قَتَادَةَ، عَنْ سَعِيدِ بْنِ أَبِي الْحَسَنِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، رضى الله عنه عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ "‏ لَيْسَ شَيْءٌ أَكْرَمَ عَلَى اللَّهِ تَعَالَى مِنَ الدُّعَاءِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ غَرِيبٌ لاَ نَعْرِفُهُ مَرْفُوعًا إِلاَّ مِنْ حَدِيثِ عِمْرَانَ الْقَطَّانِ وَعِمْرَانُ الْقَطَّانُ هُوَ ابْنُ دَاوَرَ وَيُكْنَى أَبَا الْعَوَّامِ ‏.‏ حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ بَشَّارٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ مَهْدِيٍّ، عَنْ عِمْرَانَ الْقَطَّانِ، بِهَذَا الإِسْنَادِ نَحْوَهُ ‏.‏

Abu Hurairah narrated that:The Prophet said: “There is nothing more honorable with Allah [Most High] than supplication.”

حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ مَنِيعٍ، حَدَّثَنَا مَرْوَانُ بْنُ مُعَاوِيَةَ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ ذَرٍّ، عَنْ يُسَيْعٍ، عَنِ النُّعْمَانِ بْنِ بَشِيرٍ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏"‏ الدُّعَاءُ هُوَ الْعِبَادَةُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ ثُمَّ قَرَأََ ‏:‏ ‏(‏وقالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ إِنَّ الَّذِينَ يَسْتَكْبِرُونَ عَنْ عِبَادَتِي سَيَدْخُلُونَ جَهَنَّمَ دَاخِرِينَ ‏)‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ ‏.‏ وَقَدْ رَوَاهُ مَنْصُورٌ وَالأَعْمَشُ عَنْ ذَرٍّ وَلاَ نَعْرِفُهُ إِلاَّ مِنْ حَدِيثِ ذَرٍّ ‏.‏ هُوَ ذَرُّ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ الْهَمْدَانِيُّ ثِقَةٌ وَالِدُ عُمَرَ بْنِ ذَرٍّ ‏.‏

An-Nu`man bin Bashir narrated that:The Prophet said: “The supplication, is worship.” Then he recited: And Your Lord said: “Call upon me, I will respond to you. Verily, those who scorn My worship, they will surely enter Hell humiliated

وإن كان في معصية فمراقبته بالتوبة والندم والإقلاع والحياء والاشتغال بالتفكر

وأما النوع الرابع وهو المنجيات فهو التوبة والندم على الذنوب والصبر على البلاء والشكر على النعماء والخوف والرجاء والزهد في الدنيا والإخلاص والصدق في الطاعات ومحبة الله وتعظيمه والرضا بأفعاله والشوق إليه والخشوع والتواضع له

فإذا أراد أن يكتسب لنفسه أحوال التوبة والندم فليفتش ذنوبه أولا وليتفكر فيها وليجمعها على نفسه وليعظمها في قلبه

قال وشرائط التوبة ثلاثة الندم والإقلاع والإعتذار

فحقيقة التوبة هي الندم على ما سلف منه في الماضي والإقلاع عنه في الحال والعزم على أن لا يعاوده في المستقبل

فأما الندم فإنه لا تتحقق التوبة إلا به إذ من لم يندم على القبيح فذلك دليل على رضاه به وإصراره عليه وفي المسند الندم توبة

Gender differences in self-conscious emotional experience: a meta-analysis.: The self-conscious emotions (SCE) of guilt, shame, pride, and embarrassment are moral emotions, which motivate adherence to social norms and personal standards and emerge in early childhood following the development of self-awareness. Gender stereotypes of emotion maintain that women experience more guilt, shame, and embarrassment but that men experience more pride. To estimate the magnitude of gender differences in SCE experience and to determine the circumstances under which these gender diffe

Shame and the motivation to change the self.: A central question of human psychology is whether and when people change for the better. Although it has long been assumed that emotion plays a central role in self-regulation, the role of specific emotions in motivating a desire for self-change has been largely ignored. We report 2 studies examining people's lived experiences of self-conscious emotions, particularly shame, in motivating a desire for self-change. Study 1 revealed that when participants recalled experiences of shame, guilt, or em

An examination of the relationship between shame, guilt and self-harm: A systematic review and meta-analysis.: Self-harm is a major public health concern associated with suicide risk and significant psychological distress. Theories suggest that aversive emotional states are an important process that drives self-harm. Shame and guilt may, in particular, be important emotions in self-harm. This review therefore sought to provide a systematic review and meta-analysis of the relationship between shame, guilt, and self-harm. A systematic search of electronic databases (PsycINFO; Medline; CINAHL Plus; Web of S

Shame-proneness, guilt-proneness and anxiety symptoms: A meta-analysis.: There is a growing body of investigations showing that shame and guilt are important features of various psychological problems including anxiety disorders. This study quantitatively summarized the magnitude of the associations of shame and guilt with anxiety symptoms. We looked both at the associations with broader categories of anxiety symptoms (i.e., undifferentiated anxiety symptoms, trait and state anxiety), but also with symptoms specific to individual anxiety disorders. In most cases, sha

Shame, guilt, and posttraumatic stress symptoms: A three-level meta-analysis.: Existing empirical findings are inconsistent on the correlations of shame and guilt with posttraumatic stress symptoms (PTSS). This study aimed to quantitatively summarize the strength of the associations of shame and guilt with PTSS and explore potential moderators. Based on a three-level meta-analytic method, shame was positively correlated with PTSS, no matter whether the effects of guilt were controlled; guilt also had a positive correlation with PTSS, regardless of whether the effects of sh

Shame, guilt, and depressive symptoms: a meta-analytic review.: Recent theoretical and empirical work has facilitated the drawing of sharp conceptual distinctions between shame and guilt. A clear view of these distinctions has permitted development of a research literature aimed at evaluating the differential associations of shame and guilt with depressive symptoms. This study quantitatively summarized the magnitude of associations of shame and guilt with depressive symptoms. Two hundred forty-two effect sizes were obtained from 108 studies employing 22,411