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A child can learn a self control routine beautifully in the therapy room and not use it once all week at school. Knowing the steps and performing them under pressure are two different skills.

This is why supports that sit in the moment tend to beat supports that sit in the mind. A prompt at the point of need, a changed seat, a rule the adult holds rather than the child, all of these work where the difficulty actually happens. If a child can explain exactly what they should have done and still did not do it, the problem is not that they need explaining to again.

Qur’an and Sunnah

He knows that you will not be able to keep a measure of it (Quran 73:20), and what follows is permission to do as much as is easy. Where a demand cannot be met, the demand is what gets adjusted.

۞إِنَّ رَبَّكَ يَعۡلَمُ أَنَّكَ تَقُومُ أَدۡنَىٰ مِن ثُلُثَيِ ٱلَّيۡلِ وَنِصۡفَهُۥ وَثُلُثَهُۥ وَطَآئِفَةࣱ مِّنَ ٱلَّذِينَ مَعَكَۚ وَٱللَّهُ يُقَدِّرُ ٱلَّيۡلَ وَٱلنَّهَارَۚ عَلِمَ أَن لَّن تُحۡصُوهُ فَتَابَ عَلَيۡكُمۡۖ فَٱقۡرَءُواْ مَا تَيَسَّرَ مِنَ ٱلۡقُرۡءَانِۚ عَلِمَ أَن سَيَكُونُ مِنكُم مَّرۡضَىٰ وَءَاخَرُونَ يَضۡرِبُونَ فِي ٱلۡأَرۡضِ يَبۡتَغُونَ مِن فَضۡلِ ٱللَّهِ وَءَاخَرُونَ يُقَٰتِلُونَ فِي سَبِيلِ ٱللَّهِۖ فَٱقۡرَءُواْ مَا تَيَسَّرَ مِنۡهُۚ وَأَقِيمُواْ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَءَاتُواْ ٱلزَّكَوٰةَ وَأَقۡرِضُواْ ٱللَّهَ قَرۡضًا حَسَنࣰ اۚ وَمَا تُقَدِّمُواْ لِأَنفُسِكُم مِّنۡ خَيۡرࣲ تَجِدُوهُ عِندَ ٱللَّهِ هُوَ خَيۡرࣰ ا وَأَعۡظَمَ أَجۡرࣰ اۚ وَٱسۡتَغۡفِرُواْ ٱللَّهَۖ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورࣱ رَّحِيمُۢ

[Prophet], your Lord is well aware that you sometimes spend nearly two-thirds of the night at prayer––sometimes half, sometimes a third––as do some of your followers. God determines the division of night and day. He knows that you will not be able to keep a measure of it and He has relented towards all of you, so recite as much of the Quran as is easy for you. He knows that some of you will be sick, some of you travelling through the land seeking God’s bounty, some of you fighting in God’s way: recite as much as is easy for you, keep up the prayer, pay the prescribed alms, and make God a good loan. Whatever good you store up for yourselves will be improved and increased for you. Ask God for His forgiveness, He is most forgiving, most merciful

Qur’an 73:20read it in the library

Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.

What the research says

Training research shows the same thing from another angle. A meta-analytic review of working memory training found gains on the trained tasks and no convincing transfer to attention, behaviour or school attainment. Practice makes you better at the practice. Getting it to travel is the hard part, and mostly it does not.

Melby-Lervåg M, Hulme C. (2013). Is working memory training effective? A meta-analytic review.. Developmental psychology doi

Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.

Why it works

Under time pressure and strong feeling, the part that recalls a rule is exactly the part that is struggling.

This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.

Near this one

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A child can learn a self control routine beautifully in the therapy room and not use it once all week at school. Knowing the steps and performing them under pressure are two different skills · Inshirah