Areas › Low mood and hard feelings › When you use something to cope
Draw your own chart of the moment you usually give in, with the questions you actually ask yourself, and put it where you will see it.
One woman smoking around ten bowls a day made hers as a set of branches: is it a working day, have I been to work, are the errands done, are the bills paid, and one branch headed things to do that are not smoking. Yours will look different, because the point is that the questions are the ones running through your own head. Written down, the deciding is already half done before the moment arrives, and if you show it to someone helping you they can see exactly where a small change would fit.
If you are using something to cope and it has become hard to stop, please speak to a doctor before changing anything.
Qur’an and Sunnah
There truly is a sign in this for people who use their reason (Quran 16:67). Your reason works best on paper and beforehand, not in the middle of wanting something.
وَمِن ثَمَرَٰتِ ٱلنَّخِيلِ وَٱلۡأَعۡنَٰبِ تَتَّخِذُونَ مِنۡهُ سَكَرࣰ ا وَرِزۡقًا حَسَنًاۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَأٓيَةࣰ لِّقَوۡمࣲ يَعۡقِلُونَ
From the fruits of date palms and grapes you take sweet juice and wholesome provisions. There truly is a sign in this for people who use their reason
Qur’an 16:67read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
In a laboratory experiment, people whose self-control had just been drained by a demanding task drank more alcohol when it was freely available, which shows depleted capacity turning straight into consumption. Late in a hard day you have less to decide with, not more. Lab conditions are artificial, so read it as a reason to do the thinking earlier rather than as a rule about you.
Christiansen P, Cole JC, Field M. (2012). Ego depletion increases ad-lib alcohol consumption: investigating cognitive mediators and moderators.. Experimental and clinical psychopharmacology doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
A decision made in advance and left somewhere visible does not have to be made again when you are worn out.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
Nicotine looks like the small problem next to everything else going on, and it is the one most likely to still be here in thirty years.
Repetition is what makes anything stick, and it does not check whether the thing is good for you. That is most of what addiction is.
If the language of a recovery group puts you off, that is a reason to look for a different group, not a reason to decide that help is not for you.