Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Systems for daily life
Some days fill up entirely with things that were urgent for somebody else. Practise saying not now to other people, and to the version of you that opens one more tab.
For one afternoon, write down every time you get pulled away and who did the pulling: a colleague, a notification, or you. Most people are surprised by how much of it is the third one. Then take one interruption from each side and put something small in its way. A reply that says I will look at this at four. A phone that lives in the next room until the block ends. Two changes are enough to start with.
Qur’an and Sunnah
Do not be tight-fisted, nor so open-handed that you end up blamed and overwhelmed with regret (Quran 17:29). Giving away every hour that is asked of you is the second failure, and it is named as a failure.
وَلَا تَجۡعَلۡ يَدَكَ مَغۡلُولَةً إِلَىٰ عُنُقِكَ وَلَا تَبۡسُطۡهَا كُلَّ ٱلۡبَسۡطِ فَتَقۡعُدَ مَلُومࣰ ا مَّحۡسُورًا
Do not be tight-fisted, nor so open-handed that you end up blamed and overwhelmed with regret
Qur’an 17:29read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
A meta-analysis of mind wandering found that attention drifts more as a task becomes more demanding, and that how much people drift differs reliably from person to person. Some of the pulling away, then, comes from inside and is not a matter of manners or discipline. The studies used laboratory tasks rather than open plan offices, so treat the practical advice above as a sensible response to that finding rather than a tested one.
Randall JG, Oswald FL, Beier ME. (2014). Mind-wandering, cognition, and performance: a theory-driven meta-analysis of attention regulation.. Psychological bulletin doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
You cannot refuse an interruption you never noticed, so counting them has to come before stopping them.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
Putting a task in the diary is not the same as doing it. The slot holds the time. The starting is still yours.
Before anything else, check the child actually knows what the homework is. Most homework goes missing at that first step, not at the effort step.
Choose one person and tell them you will send the finished thing by a set time. Not a conversation about how it is going, just the file, the photo, or the word done.