Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Systems for daily life
Writing things down is not evidence that your memory has failed. It is what happens once there is more in your life than one head can hold.
Most people who refuse a system are protecting something: the sense of being capable, of not being the sort of person who needs help with this. Argue with that directly and it digs in deeper. Offer the other reading instead. Anyone with a full life, work, family, several people depending on them, keeps a calendar, and nobody thinks less of them for it. Said lightly and with some warmth, this lands better than any argument about how memory works.
Qur’an and Sunnah
By the pen and by all they write (Quran 68:1). Writing is sworn by and honoured, which is a better light to see your notebook in than as proof you cannot manage.
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
The updated European consensus statement on adult ADHD was written because the condition is under recognised and under treated across many countries. Expert agreement rather than a trial, and it says nothing about how to word an offer of help. Its bearing here is that people go without workable support for reasons that are partly about how the whole thing is recognised and framed, which is worth remembering before pressing the point harder.
Kooij JJS, Bijlenga D, Salerno L, Jaeschke R, Bitter I, Balázs J, Thome J, Dom G, Kasper S, Nunes Filipe C, Stes S, Mohr P, Leppämäki S, Casas M, Bobes J, Mccarthy JM, Richarte V, Kjems Philipsen A, Pehlivanidis A, Niemela A, Styr B, Semerci B, Bolea-Alamanac B, Edvinsson D, Baeyens D, Wynchank D, Sobanski E, Philipsen A, McNicholas F, Caci H, Mihailescu I, Manor I, Dobrescu I, Saito T, Krause J, Fayyad J, Ramos-Quiroga JA, Foeken K, Rad F, Adamou M, Ohlmeier M, Fitzgerald M, Gill M, Lensing M, Motavalli Mukaddes N, Brudkiewicz P, Gustafsson P, Tani P, Oswald P, Carpentier PJ, De Rossi P, Delorme R, Markovska Simoska S, Pallanti S, Young S, Bejerot S, Lehtonen T, Kustow J, Müller-Sedgwick U, Hirvikoski T, Pironti V, Ginsberg Y, Félegyházy Z, Garcia-Portilla MP, Asherson P. (2019). Updated European Consensus Statement on diagnosis and treatment of adult ADHD.. European psychiatry : the journal of the Association of European Psychiatrists doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
People take up a system when it looks like the sign of a bigger life rather than an admission of a smaller one.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
Before asking for something new, find out what has already been agreed. A great many adjustments sit unused on paper because the student was never told, or the teacher was never told.
If you take medication, work out when it actually comes on and when it fades, then put the demanding work inside that window. Spending your best hours on email is a waste of something limited.
Putting a task in the diary is not the same as doing it. The slot holds the time. The starting is still yours.