Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Bringing the future closer
A consequence has to cost the person whose behaviour it is, in something they actually care about. If missing the bus mildly annoys your teenager and wrecks your morning, the cost is landing on the wrong person.
So move it. A few pounds for the lift, or the phone for the day. Say it plainly beforehand, then do it without the lecture attached. What counts as noticeable varies enormously from one person to the next, so ask yourself honestly what they would mind losing rather than what you feel ought to matter to them.
Qur’an and Sunnah
'That man will only have what he has worked towards' (Quran 53:39). What you end up with is tied to your own effort, which is the argument for putting the cost where the behaviour actually is.
وَأَن لَّيۡسَ لِلۡإِنسَٰنِ إِلَّا مَا سَعَىٰ
that man will only have what he has worked towards
Qur’an 53:39read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
In three field experiments, framing learning around intrinsic goals such as growth and health, rather than extrinsic ones such as money or image, improved students' learning, performance and persistence. That is a caution worth holding next to this tip: an imposed cost may shift one behaviour, while reasons a person owns seem to do better over the longer haul. Charge for the lift if you must, and keep talking about why the thing matters.
Maarten Vansteenkiste; Joke Simons; Willy Lens; Kennon M. Sheldon; Edward L. Deci (2004). Motivating Learning, Performance, and Persistence: The Synergistic Effects of Intrinsic Goal Contents and Autonomy-Supportive Contexts.. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
Nothing is learned from a cost the person does not feel.
When not to
If a cost is being used to punish rather than to teach, or it leaves someone without something they genuinely need, drop it and find another way.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
A report due Friday puts a little pressure on somebody else's Monday. For you Monday feels like nothing at all, and then Thursday evening arrives carrying the whole of it.
A reminder system is not a crutch you should be aiming to throw away. It is closer to a pair of glasses. You wear them because they work, and nobody expects your eyes to improve because you wore them for a year.
Anything you do more than a few times deserves a written list. Not the obvious items. The ones you forget: the belt, the charger, the odd adapter nobody else in the room needs.