Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Remembering to do it
Saying it is done when it is not is a common next step, and it makes more sense than it looks. The lie is rarely about the parcel, it is a way out of the look on somebody's face.
It also makes everything worse, because being found out turns a forgotten task into a trust problem, and that is a much longer repair. If this is you, the way back is usually one flat sentence with no cover story: I forgot, it is not done, here is when it will be. If you are the one being told, notice that how you take the small admissions decides whether you hear about the big ones.
Qur’an and Sunnah
If you decide to trust one another, then let the one who is trusted fulfil his trust (Quran 2:283). What is being protected is the trust itself, which is why the plain admission is worth more than the story covering it.
۞وَإِن كُنتُمۡ عَلَىٰ سَفَرࣲ وَلَمۡ تَجِدُواْ كَاتِبࣰ ا فَرِهَٰنࣱ مَّقۡبُوضَةࣱۖ فَإِنۡ أَمِنَ بَعۡضُكُم بَعۡضࣰ ا فَلۡيُؤَدِّ ٱلَّذِي ٱؤۡتُمِنَ أَمَٰنَتَهُۥ وَلۡيَتَّقِ ٱللَّهَ رَبَّهُۥۗ وَلَا تَكۡتُمُواْ ٱلشَّهَٰدَةَۚ وَمَن يَكۡتُمۡهَا فَإِنَّهُۥٓ ءَاثِمࣱ قَلۡبُهُۥۗ وَٱللَّهُ بِمَا تَعۡمَلُونَ عَلِيمࣱ
If you are on a journey, and cannot find a scribe, something should be handed over as security, but if you decide to trust one another, then let the one who is trusted fulfil his trust; let him be mindful of God, his Lord. Do not conceal evidence: anyone who does so has a sinful heart, and God is fully aware of everything you do
Qur’an 2:283read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
A rapid systematic review of ways to improve adherence to HIV medication covered individual level supports and changes to how treatment is delivered. When people do not do what they intended, that field's answer is to change the supports and the delivery rather than to press harder on the person. It is medication rather than household tasks, so what transfers is the stance, not the specific interventions.
Chaiyachati KH, Ogbuoji O, Price M, Suthar AB, Negussie EK, Bärnighausen T. (2014). Interventions to improve adherence to antiretroviral therapy: a rapid systematic review.. AIDS (London, England) doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
Hiding it removes the discomfort straight away, which is exactly why it keeps happening.
When not to
Repeated deception about money or safety is more than a memory problem and needs dealing with in its own right.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
You can mean something completely, drive most of the way there with it in your head, and still turn left instead of right. Meaning it and doing it are two separate events, and only one of them is visible to anyone else.
When a task is missed it is usually not sitting somewhere being refused. It has gone off the radar altogether, the way a name goes when somebody asks you for it.
Start the email and then stop: address it, write the subject line, leave it unsent. The half finished thing sits in your drafts looking wrong until you deal with it.