Areas › Worry and anxiety › Facing it a step at a time
Run it in your head first, then act it out with someone safe, then do it for real. It is a preseason, and nobody thinks the preseason is cheating.
Each round adds a little pressure while help is still to hand. Imagining it stirs the fear enough to show whether your plan holds up. Acting it out puts the words in your mouth, so your body has been through it once already. Both of them turn up the flaws cheaply, which is a great deal better than finding them in the corridor.
Facing a fear in steps works, and it works best with someone guiding the ladder. Read this as an explanation of how it works, and take the steps themselves to a therapist.
Qur’an and Sunnah
We shall smooth his way towards ease (Quran 92:7). The smoothing is tied to what a person actually does, and a rehearsal is one of the things you can do.
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
Pooling twenty three studies with six hundred and eight participants, exposure carried out in virtual environments performed comparably to established treatments for anxiety disorders. Another meta-analysis of twenty one studies with three hundred participants found large reductions in anxiety from virtual exposure, with the authors cautioning about how much the outcome measures varied between studies. Practice in a stand in version of a situation does real work, though virtual reality is a more convincing stand in than a role play in a room.
David Opriş; Sebastian Pintea; Azucena García‐Palacios; Cristina Botella; Ştefan Szamosközi; Daniel David (2011). Virtual reality exposure therapy in anxiety disorders: a quantitative meta-analysis. Depression and Anxiety doi
Parsons TD, Rizzo AA. (2008). Affective outcomes of virtual reality exposure therapy for anxiety and specific phobias: a meta-analysis.. Journal of behavior therapy and experimental psychiatry doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
Rehearsal gets the response into your body while the cost of getting it wrong is still low.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
When a child digs in, try reading it as frightened rather than difficult. Most of them want to get this right and simply do not yet know how.
Start with the body. Slow breathing, muscles let go one at a time, a piece of music, a familiar object in a pocket. Small levers, and they turn fear from something happening to you into something you are doing something about.
Pick one picture and keep it. Shallow end, middle, deep end. Then the child, the parents and the school are all talking about the same thing without anybody needing the clinical words.