Areas › Anger › Anger, alcohol and the body
You are right that the first drink takes the edge off. That is exactly what makes it hard, and pretending otherwise would only be untrue.
The calm is real at a small amount and it turns on you as the amount climbs, which is why the argument at eleven at night bears no resemblance to the ease at eight. Most people have worked this out from their own evenings without ever putting it into words. Saying it plainly usually helps more than being told that drink does nothing for you, since you already know that it does something.
Qur’an and Sunnah
There is great sin in both, and some benefit for people: the sin is greater than the benefit (Quran 2:219). The benefit is not denied, it is weighed, which is a more honest conversation than insisting there was never anything in it.
۞يَسۡـَٔلُونَكَ عَنِ ٱلۡخَمۡرِ وَٱلۡمَيۡسِرِۖ قُلۡ فِيهِمَآ إِثۡمࣱ كَبِيرࣱ وَمَنَٰفِعُ لِلنَّاسِ وَإِثۡمُهُمَآ أَكۡبَرُ مِن نَّفۡعِهِمَاۗ وَيَسۡـَٔلُونَكَ مَاذَا يُنفِقُونَۖ قُلِ ٱلۡعَفۡوَۗ كَذَٰلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمُ ٱلۡأٓيَٰتِ لَعَلَّكُمۡ تَتَفَكَّرُونَ
They ask you [Prophet] about intoxicants and gambling: say, ‘There is great sin in both, and some benefit for people: the sin is greater than the benefit.’ They ask you what they should give: say, ‘Give what you can spare.’ In this way, God makes His messages clear to you, so that you may reflect
Qur’an 2:219read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
In an experiment where alcohol was given to both partners before a naturalistic conflict discussion, being intoxicated changed the balance of positive and negative behaviour in the conversation. Drinking does not leave a disagreement where it found it. It was a laboratory set up with a set task, so it tells you about the direction of the effect rather than about what happens in your own kitchen.
Testa M, Crane CA, Quigley BM, Levitt A, Leonard KE. (2014). Effects of administered alcohol on intimate partner interactions in a conflict resolution paradigm.. Journal of studies on alcohol and drugs doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
The same drink can settle you and then, a little later, take away the restraint that was keeping you civil.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
The strongest pull is not the anger by itself. It is anger plus being right, the lift in the body and the certainty of the moral high ground arriving together.
If drinking is anywhere in the picture, stopping will probably do more for your anger than any technique you could learn. That is not the interesting answer, it is just the one that moves the most.
Alcohol does not add anger. It takes off the brake. Stimulants do the opposite job and press harder on the accelerator, and having both in you at once is the worst arrangement of the two.