Areas › Anger › The moment before you snap
This started as a way to stop yourself snapping, and it will do that. It also happens to be a way of noticing your whole life while you are in it.
The same watching works on wanting, on worrying, on the hour you lose to your phone. Anger is just the doorway you came in through, usually because it caused the most trouble first. Not everyone wants the larger version and there is no need to take it. If you do, it stops being something you were told to do and becomes something you keep.
Qur’an and Sunnah
God does not change the condition of a people [for the worse] unless they change what is in themselves (Quran 13:11). The inner work is described as the thing that moves everything else, which is why it reaches further than one argument.
لَهُۥ مُعَقِّبَٰتࣱ مِّنۢ بَيۡنِ يَدَيۡهِ وَمِنۡ خَلۡفِهِۦ يَحۡفَظُونَهُۥ مِنۡ أَمۡرِ ٱللَّهِۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوۡمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُواْ مَا بِأَنفُسِهِمۡۗ وَإِذَآ أَرَادَ ٱللَّهُ بِقَوۡمࣲ سُوٓءࣰ ا فَلَا مَرَدَّ لَهُۥۚ وَمَا لَهُم مِّن دُونِهِۦ مِن وَالٍ
each person has guardian angels before him and behind, watching over him by God’s command. God does not change the condition of a people [for the worse] unless they change what is in themselves, but if He wills harm on a people, no one can ward it off–– apart from Him, they have no protector
Qur’an 13:11read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
Across four experiments, people whose self control had just been taxed did better again after a few minutes spent writing about a value that genuinely mattered to them. Tying a small effort to something you actually care about seems to give some of the capacity back. These were brief laboratory studies with students, so they show the effect exists rather than how far it carries.
Schmeichel BJ, Vohs K. (2009). Self-affirmation and self-control: affirming core values counteracts ego depletion.. Journal of personality and social psychology doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
The skill is noticing, and noticing is not fussy about which part of your life it is pointed at.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
While the feeling is at full volume, no argument gets through, including a good one of your own. Settle the body first and talk afterwards.
If watching your mind feels too open, rest your attention on your breathing instead. Do not deepen it or slow it down. Just feel the breath you are already taking.
Once the plain version is familiar, try sorting instead of dotting: T for a thought, F for a feeling, S for a sensation, V for something you see, I for an urge.