Areas › Anger › Cool the body first
The urge to punch a wall is the body trying to dump a load of energy. Give it somewhere to go that will not cost you a hand or a door.
Telling yourself to stop rarely holds, because the urge is doing a job. Choose the substitute in advance and keep it dull and near to hand: press ups, a heavy bag, carrying something heavy up the stairs, a fast walk to the end of the road. You get the release, nobody is frightened, and nothing needs repairing afterwards.
Qur’an and Sunnah
Did We not relieve your heart for you (Quran 94:1). The tightness in the chest is treated as something real that needed lifting, not as a fault to be scolded out of you.
أَلَمۡ نَشۡرَحۡ لَكَ صَدۡرَكَ
Did We not relieve your heart for you [Prophet]
Qur’an 94:1read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
In a randomised controlled trial, self-guided physical activity, mindfulness meditation and heart rate variability biofeedback all reduced stress and improved wellbeing by a similar amount. That is useful here because it suggests the route can follow preference: what matters most is that you will actually reach for it. The participants were adults looking to reduce stress rather than people in the grip of anger.
van der Zwan JE, de Vente W, Huizink AC, Bögels SM, de Bruin EI. (2015). Physical activity, mindfulness meditation, or heart rate variability biofeedback for stress reduction: a randomized controlled trial.. Applied psychophysiology and biofeedback doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
A different outlet can do the same physical job as the destructive one, so the need is met and the damage is not done.
When not to
If the urge is towards a person, or you have already hurt someone, this is not something to manage alone: tell someone and get proper help.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
Squeeze the hand, hold it for a few seconds, then let it go slowly. The letting go is where the calm is, and it works better once you have practised the long version.
Your hand is already halfway there. From a clenched fist, keep the thumb and index finger touching and let the other three fingers open out.
Anger leaves fuel in the body with nowhere to go. Spend it on something physical, without replaying the argument while you do.