Areas › Yourself and your limits › Your worth is not conditional
Stop measuring your inside against other people's outside. Run your own race.
Comparison is a game rigged to make you lose. Turn your eyes back to your own path.
Qur’an and Sunnah
Do not covet what God has given to some of you more than others (Quran 4:32). Your portion is yours; measuring it against another's only unsettles the heart.
وَلَا تَتَمَنَّوۡاْ مَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بِهِۦ بَعۡضَكُمۡ عَلَىٰ بَعۡضࣲۚ لِّلرِّجَالِ نَصِيبࣱ مِّمَّا ٱكۡتَسَبُواْۖ وَلِلنِّسَآءِ نَصِيبࣱ مِّمَّا ٱكۡتَسَبۡنَۚ وَسۡـَٔلُواْ ٱللَّهَ مِن فَضۡلِهِۦٓۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ بِكُلِّ شَيۡءٍ عَلِيمࣰ ا
Do not covet what God has given to some of you more than others- men have the portion they have earned; and women the portion they have earned- you should rather ask God for some of His bounty: He has full knowledge of everything
Qur’an 4:32read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
Habitually comparing yourself with others ties your worth to a moving target you cannot win; it reliably lowers contentment, whatever the outcome of the comparison.
Crocker, J. and Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Contingencies of self-worth. Psychological Review doi
Basing self-worth on external contingencies makes it fragile; less contingent self-worth is more stable and healthy.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
Constant comparison feeds contingent, unstable self-worth and steals contentment.
Where this sits: Self-worth; contingencies of self-worth.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.