Areas › Your body › Grounding and settling
Your settling kit should cost nothing. Tea you already buy, a photo already on your phone, an old jumper, a smooth stone, a puzzle that takes your whole attention.
Anything you have to buy first becomes a reason not to start, and for anyone short of money it can add a layer of shame to the thing that was meant to help. Objects you already own also carry their own history of feeling safe, which no recommended list can give you. One person kept a bag of small chosen items and would stop mid conversation to work at a puzzle until she felt herself again. That is a good use of a kit.
Qur’an and Sunnah
It is God who has given you a place of rest in your homes (Quran 16:80). Rest is described as coming through ordinary household things, so a kit made of what you already have is quite in keeping.
وَٱللَّهُ جَعَلَ لَكُم مِّنۢ بُيُوتِكُمۡ سَكَنࣰ ا وَجَعَلَ لَكُم مِّن جُلُودِ ٱلۡأَنۡعَٰمِ بُيُوتࣰ ا تَسۡتَخِفُّونَهَا يَوۡمَ ظَعۡنِكُمۡ وَيَوۡمَ إِقَامَتِكُمۡ وَمِنۡ أَصۡوَافِهَا وَأَوۡبَارِهَا وَأَشۡعَارِهَآ أَثَٰثࣰ ا وَمَتَٰعًا إِلَىٰ حِينࣲ
It is God who has given you a place of rest in your homes and from the skins of animals made you homes that you find light [to handle] when you travel and when you set up camp; furnishings and comfort for a while from their wool, fur, and hair
Qur’an 16:80read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
An influential account of exposure therapy argues that facing what you fear works by building new learning, and warns that props used to feel safe can quietly undercut it. So a kit that helps you stay present is doing good work, while one that becomes the only way you can face a situation is worth keeping an eye on. It is a theoretical review rather than a trial of comfort objects.
Craske MG, Treanor M, Conway CC, Zbozinek T, Vervliet B. (2014). Maximizing exposure therapy: an inhibitory learning approach.. Behaviour research and therapy doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
You will actually use what is already within reach, and something you chose yourself already means something to you.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
Attention problems often travel with anxiety or low mood, and those two eat working memory as well. Settling that layer can make everything else look quite different.
Five minutes chosen for the state you are actually in beats twenty minutes of open sitting. Pick the one labelled stressed, or cannot sleep, or about to walk into work.
If the even square does not touch it, stretch the shape: in for six, hold for four, out for six, hold for four.