Areas › Your body › Your nervous system
Calm is not automatically the goal, and arousal is not automatically the enemy. What you are after is a system that can move between them.
The older idea was simple: stress bad, relaxation good. It missed that the same slowing down which feels like peace when you are safe is shutdown when you are frightened. So more relaxation is not a coherent aim on its own. Being able to rev up when something needs doing, and settle again afterwards, is.
Qur’an and Sunnah
'He opens their breast to islam' (Quran 6:125). The image is of a chest opened out rather than one held still, and openness is nearer to what you want.
فَمَن يُرِدِ ٱللَّهُ أَن يَهۡدِيَهُۥ يَشۡرَحۡ صَدۡرَهُۥ لِلۡإِسۡلَٰمِۖ وَمَن يُرِدۡ أَن يُضِلَّهُۥ يَجۡعَلۡ صَدۡرَهُۥ ضَيِّقًا حَرَجࣰ ا كَأَنَّمَا يَصَّعَّدُ فِي ٱلسَّمَآءِۚ كَذَٰلِكَ يَجۡعَلُ ٱللَّهُ ٱلرِّجۡسَ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ لَا يُؤۡمِنُونَ
When God wishes to guide someone, He opens their breast to islam; when He wishes to lead them astray, He closes and constricts their breast as if they were climbing up to the skies. That is how God makes the foulness of those who do not believe rebound against them
Qur’an 6:125read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
A meta-analysis of chronic stress and the stress hormone axis found the story is not a simple matter of levels rising. The pattern depends on the type of stressor and how long it has lasted, and prolonged stress often produces flattened output rather than elevated. Low is not the same as well. It measures hormone patterns across studies, so it argues against the simple model rather than proving a better one.
Miller GE, Chen E, Zhou ES. (2007). If it goes up, must it come down? Chronic stress and the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenocortical axis in humans.. Psychological bulletin doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
The same physical state means different things depending on whether you are safe, so flexibility matters more than lowness.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
Try locking your ankle and holding everything rigid while you balance. You will fall over. The wobble was doing the work.
If your usual trouble is a racing heart, a crowded head and never quite coming down, slow paced breathing with a feedback device is the one to try first.
When someone cannot take in your reassurance while they are frightened, that is the receiver and not their willingness. Wait for the wave to pass and try again.