Practices
Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.
Narrowed down
4 practicesHow long you have
Who it is written for · My husband or wife
On your own, or with someone · Both of us together
Approach · Body based
When someone is telling you something hard, quietly let your body come closer to theirs. Similar posture, similar pace, your voice at their volume rather than your own.
Do it lightly. This is not an impression, and if it looks like one it will land as mockery. A small shift is plenty: leaning in when they lean in,…
Repeating back what your partner said proves you were listening. It does not prove you were touched by it, and they can tell the difference.
Reflective listening can be done perfectly and still land cold, because the words check the content while your face and body report that nothing…
Two people who spend time in step really do become more attuned. Nothing passes between your brains while it happens, though, so put the hours in rather than waiting for the wiring.
The phrase about brains wiring together is a picture, and a lovely one. What is actually available to you is ordinary: the same room, the same walk…
Connection settles people, but the right amount of it varies enormously. Some settle with a house full of family and some with one person and no talking at all.
If closeness costs you something, plan around that rather than pushing through. Shorter visits, sitting side by side instead of face to face, a walk…
Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.