Practices
Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.
Narrowed down
5 practicesArea · Low mood and hard feelings
How long you have · A minute
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · Both of us together
If someone is saying so much that you have lost the thread, stop them kindly and check. Sorry, that is a lot and it matters, can I say back what I have got so far.
It feels rude and it is usually received as the opposite, because it says the words were worth keeping. Listening while quietly drowning helps…
When someone tells you they have been hurting themselves, keep your face steady and stay curious. Alarm closes the conversation, and you need it open.
A visible flinch teaches the person that this is not something you can hear, and the next disclosure goes elsewhere or nowhere. It can also make the…
When someone tells you they have failed, the most useful thing you can do is nothing clever. Let your face stay soft and keep looking at them.
Shame is braced for disgust, so it reads your face before it hears your words. A quick reassurance can even land as a rush to move on. Slower is…
When someone's shame fills the room, check your own state before you say anything. If you start to shrink, or to worry that you are handling this badly, they will feel it.
Shame is catching. The particular risk is a quiet spiral of your own, along the lines of I am no good at this, which pulls you out of the room at the…
With someone carrying old shame, ask about the closeness itself. Is it alright that I am sitting here with you? Would a bit more space help? Then adjust, and let them see you adjust.
Small changes work best. Shifting your chair back slightly, looking away for a moment, softening your voice, then checking what that was like for…
There is more about low mood and hard feelings than the practices: the low mood and hard feelings area has the themes and the courses too.