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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

3 practices

Shame A minute Both of us together Clear all

How long you have · A minute

A minute 3 Five minutes 1 Twenty minutes 2 Longer 1

Who it is written for

A practitioner 3 Someone I care about 3 My husband or wife 1

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 2 Struggling right now 1

On your own, or with someone · Both of us together

Both of us together 3 On my own 2

Theme · Shame

Getting assessed and diagnosed 6 Growing empathy 4 Bringing the future closer 3 Shame 3 Cool the body first 3 Systems for daily life 2 Medication and how it works 2 Being seen and judged 2 Treatment and medication 1 The fear underneath anger 1 Emotions as signals 1 Equanimity and perspective 1 Reading, numbers and learning differences 1 When everything feels flat 1 Obsessions and compulsions 1 Practising under provocation 1 Your sense of time 1 Touch and bodywork 1 When anger turns to harm 1

Approach

Trauma informed 2 Emotionally focused 1

When

Under stress 1 Any ordinary day 1 Coming and going 1

When someone tells you they have failed, the most useful thing you can do is nothing clever. Let your face stay soft and keep looking at them.

Shame is braced for disgust, so it reads your face before it hears your words. A quick reassurance can even land as a rush to move on. Slower is…

A minuteShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 93:3

When someone's shame fills the room, check your own state before you say anything. If you start to shrink, or to worry that you are handling this badly, they will feel it.

Shame is catching. The particular risk is a quiet spiral of your own, along the lines of I am no good at this, which pulls you out of the room at the…

A minuteShameTrauma informedQur’an 53:32

With someone carrying old shame, ask about the closeness itself. Is it alright that I am sitting here with you? Would a bit more space help? Then adjust, and let them see you adjust.

Small changes work best. Shifting your chair back slightly, looking away for a moment, softening your voice, then checking what that was like for…

A minuteShameTrauma informedQur’an 20:122

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.