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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

248 practices
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Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 149Anger 46Low mood and hard feelings 23Worry and anxiety 16Your body 14
How long you have
A minute 36Five minutes 111Twenty minutes 76Longer 25
Who it is written for
A practitioner 237Me 148Someone I care about 128My husband or wife 54
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 154Struggling right now 62Getting ready for something 32
On your own, or with someone · Both of us together
On my own 1974Involves someone else 625Both of us together 248
Theme
Getting assessed and diagnosed 41Medication and how it works 33Systems for daily life 15Feelings and focus 15Reading, numbers and learning differences 14Emotions as signals 11Growing empathy 9Touch and bodywork 9When anger turns to harm 8Treatment and medication 8What anger actually is 7Shame 7Practising under provocation 7The cost of avoiding 6Being seen and judged 5Bringing the future closer 5Screens and attention 5Equanimity and perspective 4Your sense of time 3When everything feels flat 3Cool the body first 3Facing it a step at a time 3What ADHD actually is 3The fear underneath anger 2The moment before you snap 2Exercise, food and other supports 2Obsessions and compulsions 2When you go numb 2Moving your body 2Grounding and settling 2Get started 2Making it stick 1Remembering to do it 1Righteous anger and perfectionism 1Choosing your response 1Structure and routine 1Use your strengths 1What you are actually defending 1Your nervous system 1
Approach
ADHD skills 83Medical and treatment 48Core 44CBT 29Emotionally focused 16Body based 13Mindfulness 5Trauma informed 4Parts work 3Narrative 2Gottman 1
When
Any ordinary day 165After a row 34Under stress 23Coming and going 14In a change 7When apart 5

If somebody insists they were not afraid of the disrespect, agree with them. Good, because if there was nothing to fear then the words were safe, and safe things can be left alone.

Whichever way the answer goes it is useful. Either the fear is now on the table, or the disrespect has just been agreed to be harmless, and the next…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 7:199

There is a difference between being afraid and being seen as afraid, and it is usually the second one people are defending. Worth asking which of the two is actually the problem.

Once somebody can say the trouble is what others would make of it, the whole reputational job anger has been doing comes into view. Often the belief…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 12:53

Certainty closes a mind and a moment of not quite following opens it again. Sometimes the most useful thing you can say is the sentence that takes a second to work out.

Ask what it would mean if somebody were not afraid of being afraid, and let the puzzle sit for a beat. In that small gap the ready made…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 21:37

Your family had its own rules about anger, quite apart from anything cultural. Those are the ones that shaped you, and they can be renegotiated.

Name two of them plainly. Nobody leaves the table. Whoever shouts loudest wins. We do not mention it the next day. Then ask which you still want.…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 2:263

Expect the fear underneath to be denied, and do not push against the denial. This idea has to be worked in gently rather than argued in.

Coming at somebody head on with what they are defending sets off exactly the threat response you were hoping to treat. Small, low pressure versions…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 68:48

You will not get the honest version in one go. Ask, let it be refused, carry on with something else, then come back to it later in the same conversation.

A defended story does not collapse, it wears down. Each pass takes a little off it, and the person needs the gaps in between to do the actual…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 15:47

Understanding an idea is not the same as being changed by it. The explaining is soil preparation, and the crop comes later.

Somebody can follow the whole argument about respect and self-acceptance, agree warmly with all of it, and lose their temper the same way that…

LongerWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 22:46

Connection settles people, but the right amount of it varies enormously. Some settle with a house full of family and some with one person and no talking at all.

If closeness costs you something, plan around that rather than pushing through. Shorter visits, sitting side by side instead of face to face, a walk…

Twenty minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:260

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.