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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

4 practices
Twenty minutes remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterEmotionally focused remove filterClear all
How long you have · Twenty minutes
A minute 27Five minutes 15Twenty minutes 4
Who it is written for
My husband or wife 4Me 4
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
Involves someone else 4On my own 4Both of us together 4
Theme
Repair after rupture 2Knowing your partner 1Rituals of connection 1
Approach · Emotionally focused
ADHD skills 33Medical and treatment 27CBT 23Gottman 20Core 13Body based 5Emotionally focused 4DBT skills 1
When
Any ordinary day 3After a row 1

Tell your spouse about a raw spot, an old tender place that still gets touched.

When you go quiet I feel abandoned, like I did as a child. Name the ache, not the blame.

Twenty minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 17:24

Name one old hurt with your spouse that still aches, gently and without re-litigating.

When you were not there that day, it marked me. Naming it is not attacking, it is asking to heal.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 42:40

When your spouse names a wound you caused, listen without defending, even once.

Not I didn't mean to. First: I hear that I hurt you, and I am sorry. Defence can wait.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 4:135

Once this week, sit together unhurried and share one feeling and one reassurance.

Not logistics. How are we really, and what do you need from me. A regular heart to heart.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.