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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

2 practices
My husband or wife remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterWhen apart remove filterClear all
Area
Low mood and hard feelings 1Anger 1
Who it is written for · My husband or wife
A practitioner 6Me 6Someone I care about 5My husband or wife 2
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
Both of us together 4Involves someone else 2
Theme
What anger actually is 1When you go numb 1
Approach
Core 1Emotionally focused 1
When · When apart
Any ordinary day 68After a row 44Under stress 39Coming and going 4Something good 3When apart 2

Pulling back makes you harder to reach, which makes people give up on reaching, which looks like proof that nobody was coming. The loop closes itself.

Being told to open up rarely breaks it, because opening up in one go is exactly the risk the whole strategy exists to prevent. What breaks it is…

Five minutesWhen you go numbEmotionally focusedQur’an 39:23

Some anger is really about being left. It flares when someone pulls away, goes quiet or seems less interested, and it comes out as an accusation rather than as the fear it is.

The giveaway is that it happens with the same one or two people, the ones whose closeness you rely on. Anger skills alone do little here, because the…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 21:87

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.